


Galaxy at War

by vmplvr1977



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Alternate Universe - Space, Clexa Week, Clexa Week 2020, Clexa Week 2020 day 2, Clexa week 2020 day 5, Commander Lexa (The 100), Day 2, Day 5 AU, Doctor Clarke Griffin, Endgame Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Soldier Lexa (The 100), Survival
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:34:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22993276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vmplvr1977/pseuds/vmplvr1977
Summary: Commander Lexa Shepard is a Spectre. Spectres or Special Tactics and Reconnaissance. Their mission is to preserve galactic stability by whatever means necessary… shorthand for we kill whoever keeps us from completing the mission…When she is given a mission to bring Doctor Clarke Griffin aboard her ship as first mate she is forced to rescue the doctor from mercenaries sent to kill her. Lexa soon learns that Doctor Griffin (who has a knack for pissing Lexa off) has information regarding an upcoming attack by enemies bent on destroying the Galaxy.
Relationships: Anya/Raven Reyes, Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 34
Kudos: 126





	1. Saving Dr. Griffin

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Clexa week I've been waiting to post this for some time. I realize that not everyone is familiar with the video game Mass effect, but you don't really have to know much about it. I added some pictures at the end for reference.

**Normandy SR-2**

**Alliance Military Aircraft**

**Docked at Omega Station**

  
  
  


“Commander, you have an incoming message from Councillor Indra.” Raven announced over the intercom, bringing Lexa from her sleep and the Commander let out a groan, sparing a glance at the asari in her bed. Asari were a race of all females with the ability to alter their reproductive systems to mate with any alien species or sex. They looked mostly human, only they had blue skin and instead of hair, crests. They were the oldest living civilization in the galaxy and could live for thousands of years. _Fuck! That is definitely the last time I dare Gustus that I can drink him under the table. Who is she, anyway?_

“Patch it through, Raven.” Lexa replied as she threw on a tank top and underwear, then headed to her private terminal to accept the message. Lexa served under Indra years ago when they were both Alliance military and the Commander respected her greatly. They fought countless battles together and Lexa was shocked when Indra shifted into politics. _Fucking politics never solve anything, only make for more red tape and the Admiral that once preached against red tape became a politician. Irony has no bounds._

“Commander Shepard, is sleeping well into the afternoon normal procedure for you these days? There was a time that you were up before even me.” The dark skinned human maintained her standard monotone voice and stoic demeanor, though she looked reasonably pissed off. _Shit, I didn’t get into a drunken brawl with some hoity toity diplomat, did I?_

“Councillor Indra. I wasn’t expecting to hear from you, what with us being on shore leave and all.” Lexa replied, not bothering with formalities and knew she could be frank with Indra. _They give me a fucking medal and send me on leave, not one day later I have a mission. So fucking typical..._

“I am well aware that you **believed** you had time for some ridiculous vacation, however Spectres don’t get leave, Commander.” Indra replied coldly and the brunette didn’t bother holding back the eye roll. _This is why I don’t bother with relationships or making friends, there’s never any time._

“Orders?” The brunette stood and walked to the panel on the wall, with her coffee cup in hand to get some much needed caffeine. _How much did I drink last night? I remember Costia telling me that she should ban me from Afterlife before she loses all of her customers and after that… nothing. That asari must work at the club… I bet Cos told her to take me home and things got..._

“You will go to Noveria. There is a human doctor there that will join your crew as your first officer, I am transmitting her dosier to the Normandy now. I should warn you, Lexa... Dr. Griffin is a… pacifist.” Indra commanded and the brunette raised an eyebrow.

“Pacifist?”

“She prefers research and diplomacy to…”

“I know what it means, I just don’t know why you would assign a pacifist to my crew and a doctor at that. Isn’t there some humanitarian ship you can assign her to?” Lexa grumbled.

“Dr. Griffin has a background with Cerberus and will be a valuable asset to your crew, given her… history. Need I remind you that we are at war with Cerberus? They have gone too far and broken thousands of galaxy wide laws with their horrific research!” Indra’s voice was commanding and full of rage from an old wound that Lexa had forgotten until now. Indra’s husband was captured, experimented on and tortured for a year, before he died. It wasn’t personal, Cerberus had hurt damned near everyone in the galaxy and thought their mission came before all else. They were never clear on what that mission was, other than science… _If that’s what you’d call what they do..._

“Nyko is my Chief Medical Officer and I’m not interested in working with Cerberus operatives, past or present.” Lexa replied, shaking her head and wondering why the Council would want anyone with Cerberus ties on board **her** ship. _They call themselves scientists… more like monsters._ Cerberus conducted countless operations, experiments and were feared for their horrific acts throughout the galaxy. Gunning down entire colonies and then kidnapping the surviving children to experiment on. They focused most of their projects on creating biotics, people that were capable of creating mass effect fields. 

“Dr. Griffin isn’t a medical doctor, though she does have extensive medical training. She can serve as a field medic if needed and she is also a biotic so she will be useful in a fight.” The Councillor offered and the brunette huffed, realizing that there must be something Indra wasn’t telling her. _Don’t keep me in the dark, Indra. Cerberus makes Spectres look like saints and even I have trouble sleeping at night. I don’t need some psychopath biotic doctor on my ship!_ Biotics could throw a group of people dozens of feet, create protective barriers, lift objects in the air and the most powerful ones could rip a body apart. All without touching their opponent. The power itself originated from the blue asari and even was accompanied by a light blue glow, the same blue as asari skin. 

“I don’t need a biotic either, in fact it’s the **last** thing I need!” Lexa argued, not wanting to open up that Pandora’s box. Biotic abilities were natural among the asari, not at all in humans and other alien species. They were only able to do so through science and it often caused psychosis, among a very long list of side effects. The last biotic Lexa had on her team often suffered from constant headaches, bloody noses and violent outbursts. _I do not need that on my ship, we have to be combat ready at all times and the crew doesn’t need to worry about a mad scientist with biotic abilities._

“Dr. Griffin will join your crew as first officer and you will travel to Noveria to meet her, that is an order Commander Lexa Shepard.” Indra replied sternly, then cut off the transmission and Lexa let out a deep sigh as she rubbed her temples in frustration. _A fucking pacifist biotic_ **_and_ ** _ex-Cerberus opperative? I am scaring her ass off my ship the second I get!!_

“Raven, set a course for Noveria.” The brunette barked angrily over the comms and her pilot’s voice filled the air of her quarters, causing the asari in Lexa’s bed to stir. _Good, at least I don’t have to wake her up. I think I have seen her before, does she work at Afterlife? A dancer, maybe?_

“Noveria... as in the frozen ass fucking planet? The highest recorded temperature in the **summertime** is negative one degree celsius and even in a combat hard suit, you’ll only last a few minutes before you freeze to death. You sure about this Commander?” Raven sounded as confused as the Spectre was and it only made the situation more unbearable. _I’ve been to Noveria before and I lost five good men to the cold, another three to mercs._

“Yes, Raven.” The brunette answered with a sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. 

“Copy that, Commander. I’ll contact the crew and let them know grab some warm socks, we leave in an hour.”

“Wait... **you’re** Commander Lexa Shepard? The only human Spectre?” The woman asked, looking impressed and the brunette rolled her eyes in annoyance. _Everywhere I go they’ve fucking heard of me… this is why I’m shit at blending in and part of my job is reconnaissance._ Spectres or Special Tactics and Reconnaissance. Their mission is to preserve galactic stability by whatever means necessary… _shorthand for we kill whoever keeps us from completing the mission…_

“You heard my pilot so if you don’t want to get dropped off at Noveria, I suggest you get off the ship now.” Lexa offered coldly to the asari in her bed and then hopped in the shower, not caring what the girl did. As a Spectre, Lexa didn’t bother with attachments or friends outside of her crew. There was no point in her line of work, which was the highest level of combat excellence and as Black Ops at the galaxy got. There was an entire wall in Normandy with the names of dozens of crew members that died at their posts in the two years Lexa was in command. Technically, Spectres answered to the Council and yet they were also technically above the law. Spectres were essentially loaded weapons, point them at a problem and let them do their thing. _No gory details in the reports or body counts, just do whatever it takes to complete the mission._ Lexa’s crew was made up of mostly ex-military or ex-convicts, the ones that weren’t afraid to get their hands dirty. _So why the hell would the council want a pacifist on my crew and why make her first officer? Is this some underhanded way to teach me lesson in humility?_ The brunette was pleased to find her quarters empty when she exited the shower and threw on her uniform before making her way to CIC. (Combat Information Center)

“Commander, Raven said that we’re going to fucking Noveria? We lost eight men the last time we were there!!” Lt. Anya Woods offered as she approached the brunette and Lexa let out a sigh.

“Council orders, specifically Indra’s.” The Commander replied with a grumble and the lieutenant narrowed her eyes.

“What did you to Indra, fuck her daughter and not call her back?”

“I’m not a complete asshole, Anya! I would never sleep with her daughter…” Lexa argued and gave her lieutenant a stern look. Lt. Woods had served under the Commander for nearly seven years and like the brunette, was once Alliance military. 

“Why not, you’ve slept with half the galaxy already…” Anya smirked and Lexa rolled her eyes at her old friend.

“This from you, On? There are entire planets that have banned us from docking because you can’t keep it in your pants.” The brunette grumbled and got a shrug from the copper eyed lieutenant.

“I went through a phase.”

“Is Lt. Reyes a phase too, because I don’t like workplace romance drama.” Lexa countered and it was true, office romance rarely ended well.

“Nah, I’m a permanent thorn in her side and I’d be much more concerned with our new first officer. Have you seen her file, Commander? Dr. Griffin is a biotic with an L5x implant, which I didn’t even know they made and her entire life has been in the service of Cerberus. Her debrief with the Council is heavily redacted and there are no records of her existence before a year ago.” Raven informed them over the ship's comms and Lexa let out a sigh of frustration.

“Raven, how many times must I tell you to not listen in to **every** conversation I have on the ship?” The brunette asked with an irritated tone. Without fail, Lexa would be in the middle of a private conversation and Lt. Reyes seemed to be listening in, often throwing in her two cents.

“You are the ship’s Commander, it’s actually part of my job description to maintain seamless contact with you.” Raven replied as if reciting protocol and it caused the brunette to roll her eyes.

“You can end comms now, Lt. Reyes.”

“Copy that, Commander.”

“You’re bringing a Cerberus biotic on board? As your first officer?” Anya asked with eyes narrowed and Lexa let out a sigh, knowing this specific mission was not going to be popular with her crew. _Trust me, I don't like this either._

“Again, orders from the Council…”

“This is bullshit, Lex!”

“Agreed, but Indra seems to believe she will be an asset to the crew. Raven, is everyone on board?” Lexa replied and her pilot's voice came over the comms.

“See… this is why I’m always listening, you tell me to go away and then ask me questions.”

“She has a point, Lex.” Anya shot the Commander a smirk and Lexa decided she wasn't in the mood to be argued with. _I am forced to take on a first officer I don't want and sent on a stupid mission, instead of taking a much needed vacation. The last thing I need is you two giving me shit._

“Lt. Reyes, is everyone on board?”

“Affirmative, Commander. Setting course for the Mass Relay now, ETA to Noveria is fifteen minutes.” Lt. Reyes informed them and prepared to spin up the FTL (faster than lightspeed) to enter the mass relay. No one in the galaxy knew where the mass relays came from, they were spread throughout the galaxy and created a doorway of sorts. A ship could travel from one side of the galaxy to another in minutes this way.

“Thank you, Lieutenant.”

  
  


*******************************************************************************************************

**Noveria**

**Mining Planet**

**Docking Bay**

  
  
  


“Be ready for anything, no surprises and no casualties on this mission. Our orders are to locate Dr. Griffin and bring her aboard, that’s it.”

“Yes, ma’am.” The away team responded in unison. Lexa wasn’t certain what to expect on this mission, so she brought her two best soldiers. Lieutenant Anya Woods and the sole Krogan crewmate Gustus. Krogans normally stood at seven feet and were reptilian creatures known for their tendency to rely on violence over diplomacy. Krogans were made for war, at least that was their reputation and were happiest in a fight. Most humans and several other species, fear Krogans. They were essentially the mad dogs of the galaxy and for some reason, Lexa felt at home in their company. When they met, Gustus demanded that Lexa fight him to the death over a spilled drink and she barely survived the fight. Lexa stood over him with wobbly feet, covered in her own blood and offered him a spot on her crew, rather than kill him. The massive Gustus let out a belly laugh and told the human Commander that she should have been born Krogan. Two years later, Gustus was one of her most trusted crew mates, he and Anya.

“Commander Shepard. I wasn’t aware that a Spectre would be paying us a visit and all visitors must be cleared by me...” The dark skinned human in a uniform said as they exited the ship and the brunette let out a deep sigh. _Why does_ **_everyone_ ** _know who I am before I introduce myself?_

“Spectres don’t need to announce their arrival, we go wherever the hell we want. Who might you be?” The Commander replied with a tone of annoyance and the man straightened his back, likely aware that Lexa preferred to get straight to business. Her reputation precedes her, Lexa Shepard hated small talk and had a tendency to react aggressively when her patience was tested. There was a recent incident where a nosy reporter wouldn't stop asking questions and Lexa knocked her out with a hard right.

“Lt. Miller, Head of Security for Noveria mining operations.”

“I’m looking for Doctor Clarke Griffin, any ideas on where to start?” Lexa asked and it was clear by the man's expression that he knew exactly who she was referring to.

“Not sure who you’re talking about.”

“Yet you just said that all visitors must be cleared by you. The question is are you lying to me or incompetent in your duties, Leiutenant?” The Commander raised a challenging eyebrow and watched the security officer panic under her scrutiny. _Don't test me, I'm already in a bad mood..._

“Uh…”

“Do you know where I can find Dr. Griffin, or not?” The brunette redirected and Lt. Miller gulped nervously, scanning her away team.

“Look, I have specific orders regarding… specific visitors, such as yourself.” Miller let out a sigh and rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“Dr. Griffin is one of these… specific visitors?” Anya interjected with a stern tone and the security officer nodded his agreement.

“Yes.”

“Where can I find her?” Lexa asked and once again the lieutenant seemed afraid to answer. _What the fuck is going on? Is he afraid of me or Dr. Griffin?_

“Commander…”

“Answer the Commander’s question, human or I’ll rip your puny little arms off.” Gustus interjected and it was all Miller needed to give in.

“Dr. Griffin was last seen headed towards Peak 15. I should warn you, there’s a ton of mercs between here and there. They arrived shortly after the doctor went to the mountain and followed her there.” Lt. Miller replied with a sigh of defeat and the Commander narrowed her eyes at the officer. _Mercenaries, great..._

“Do these mercs work for the doctor?”

“No, they work for Cerberus and they told me to forget I ever saw the doctor. They also said that they would kill anyone that came looking for her.” Miller shook his head and shifted on his feet anxiously. _He's scared, no denying it..._

“Why?”

“They were heavily armed, so I didn’t ask. I can only assume they want to kill or capture her.” The security officer replied cautiously and the brunette pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. _It couldn't be easy, could it? Now I have to rescue this doctor._

“Shit! How do we get to Peak 15?”

“Rover only and you have to make stops in some of the heated tunnels along the way to keep your engines from freezing. If you get stranded, you’ll freeze to death in minutes and that’s if the mercs don’t get you first.” Miller replied and Lexa let out a deep sigh.

“Thank you, Lieutenant. Raven, I’m gonna need the Mako to make the trip.”

“Prepped and ready to roll, Commander. Hope you wore an extra pair of socks… even in a rover, it’s gonna be a chilly ride.” Lt. Reyes offered over the comms.

“I fucking hate the cold!” Anya grumbled as they made their way to the rover and the brunette nodded her agreement. _This mission is a royal pain in my ass! First I have a first officer I don’t want, now I have to trek through mercs and ice to save her ass. This doctor better be worth it!_ The trip was immediately hindered by a group of mercenaries that formed a blockade in front of the first heated underground tunnel. 

“No pressure Commander, but you have exactly two minutes to get in that tunnel before the engines on the Mako freeze.”

“Thank you, Raven. I wasn’t certain with all of the blinking warning lights on my display…” The brunette grumbled.

“Don’t get cranky with me Lexa, I’m just doing my job! The Mako has a machine gun for a reason, why not hit the gas and shoot your way to the tunnel?”

“Thought you’d never ask, little bird!” Gustus interjected and let out a mighty roar as he opened fire, while Anya hit the accelerator. The copper eyed Lieutenant had no qualms barrelling over the mercs with the rover and expertly avoided the barricades they set up. The Mako burst through the mercs and came to a halt once safely in the tunnel. The trio didn’t hesitate, they were out of the rover and in full attack mode within seconds. The tunnel was far warmer, due to the geothermal heating system and yet even with combat armor, it was cold. Lexa silently ordered her team to take strategic positions and gave them covering fire with her assault rifle. They were outnumbered, twenty to one and yet they remained focused. Lexa’s team were willing to die fighting, suicide missions were their expertise and this posed a minor threat considering past missions. They didn’t have to kill everyone, just hold them back until they could use the Mako to escape. Gustus roared as he charged the mercs and then opened fire with his shotgun at close range. The two humans kept their distance to protect the Mako with assault rifles and grenades, while the rover’s engines thawed.

“We’re almost good to go, Commander! Engines ready in thirty seconds.” Raven informed them over comms.

“Got it. Gus, fall back!” Lexa ordered and the two women gave covering fire so the Krogan could retreat to the rover. Once they were inside, Anya punched the Mako’s accelerator and rolled over as many as she could on the way out of the tunnel. The remaining twenty miles to Peak 15 was spent in a similar fashion. Forced to stop in all twelve of the tunnels and hold back waves of mercs, then doing it all over again. When they finally reached their destination, Lexa let out a growl of frustration. At least thirty mercenaries between them and the doctor, assuming she was even here. Anya didn’t dispense with formalities, she just drove the Mako directly to the blast doors and came to a sudden stop.

“Fuck these merc bastards!! Rae… tell me you got the cannons working before we left!” Anya shouted and hopped into the cannoneer’s seat, waiting for the pilot’s reply. 

“Up and running, hot stuff.” Raven answered and the copper eyed human opened fire, blowing up groups of merc at a time.

“Gus and I will hold them back Commander, just don’t take too long.” Anya shouted over the noise of the rover’s machine gun and cannons. The Commander exited the Mako and headed inside the blast doors, hoping this would be easy. The moment she was inside, she heard gunfire causing a sigh of frustration before the brunette charged towards the noise. _You better be worth all of the trouble, Dr. Griffin!_ The mercs weren’t expecting Lexa, so she caught them by surprise as she approached them from behind. The brunette couldn’t see who the mercs were shooting at and decided to use the element of surprise. One by one, Lexa snuck up behind the mercenaries and killed them silently with her combat knife. It wasn’t part of the standard Spectre gear, but the brunette liked versatility. By the time she managed to kill the dozen mercs holding the rear flank, she spotted the blonde doctor and shook her head. 

“She isn’t even fighting back, just blocking the bullets with a biotic barrier… fucking pacifists.” Lexa grumbled under her breath, knowing that meant it was her responsibility to take out the doctor’s attackers and she couldn’t expect back up. The brunette tossed a grenade and opened fire with her assault rifle, switching to her pistol instead of reloading. The surprise attack and her expertly aimed shots, took the rest of the mercs out before they had time to react. Lexa reloaded both guns as she slowly made her way past the bodies on the floor and scanned the blonde carefully. Instead of a lab coat or armor, she wore a skin tight black and white cat suit. The outfit seemed to have a more fashionable purpose than a tactical one and definitely drew attention to her curvy features. _She wears that outfit to gun fight?_

“You must be Commander Lexa Shepard, you’re four hours late.” Dr. Griffin offered with a tone that suggested she was just as unhappy about this arrangement as Lexa and then nonchalantly gathered some things from the lab table nearby.

“I saved your life and you say I’m late?”

“I had it under control, Commander. No need for whatever heroic dramatics that you may be accustomed to.” The blonde grumbled and the brunette gave her an incredulous glare. _That’s it!_

“Are you fucking kidding me? We had to kill a minimum of a hundred mercs to get here, I find you surrounded by a couple dozen enemies and you act like it’s just another day?” Lexa grumbled and shook her head in disbelief. _So fucking ungrateful, I saved her ass!_

“It is just another day, isn't it Commander? For you at least… I’ve read your file and I’m certain you’ve read mine as well.” The blonde replied with a challenging glare and Lexa rolled her eyes dramatically. _I can't read your fucking file because it's classified and I have almost the highest security clearance in the military._

“ **You** don’t have a file, just a hundred pages of redacted bullshit and a lifetime of service to Cerberus.” The brunette grumbled and the doctor shrugged, looking unimpressed.

“And **your** file is a bunch of infantile heroic gestures soaked in the blood of thousands of lives.” Dr. Griffin retorted and the brunette clinched her jaw angrily. _I have half a mind to knock her out and carry her back, if she doesn't stop being a brat!_

“Well, at least I don't have a tendency towards psychosis or have a history of working for a psychotic madman.” Lexa spat back at the blonde, who rolled her eyes dramatically. The head of Cerberus went by the name the Illusive Man, no records or file, just like Dr. Griffin.

“I’ve never heard that one before… oh wait, I have… a million fucking times in the last year alone. Are you even capable of creative thought, or are you just a loaded weapon without morals?” Dr. Griffin crossed her arms in front of her and tapped her foot, now the brunette rolled her eyes. 

“That’s rich coming from Cerberus.” 

“Those men you killed were paid by Cerberus with orders to kill me, so spare me the jabs about my former employer Commander. Shall we get to your ship, or do you plan on continuing to act childish?” Clarke stepped forward into Lexa's personal space and smirked as the brunette scowled.

“You ungrateful bitch!”

“I’ve never been called that before… oh wait, I have. God you soldiers are all the same, I assume your ship is on the landing pad?” The blonde grumbled and let out a frustrated sigh as Lexa's eyes went wide. _Did she just say there was a landing pad… here?_

“Landing pad?”

“The one I lit up like Christmas morning on the roof of the facility so you wouldn’t have to face an army on your way to… rescue me.” Clarke smirked, knowing full well the Commander missed it.

“Raven?”

“Ok, this is **so,** not my fault… I didn't consider the possibility that the doctor was using flashing lights to send her coordinates with Morse code." Raven replied, with a cautious tone and it took everything Lexa had not to flip out. _Dr. Griffin is already treating me like I'm incompetent and now Raven just solidified that._

“Great pilot you’ve got there Commander.”

“Are you capable of not being condescending for two seconds?” The brunette barked, trying desperately not to just punch the blonde and get it over with. _I have never met anyone capable of getting under my skin as easily as this bitch._

“Depends… are you capable of not being an egotistical womanizer for two seconds?” Clarke retorted with a smirk.

“I’m not an egotistical womanizer!” Lexa shouted only to receive a triumphant grin from the doctor in return and then a laugh of amusement.

“Ha! That’s not what your file says Commander Shepard… there’s actually a detailed list of names of your one night stands, you tend to gravitate towards asari.” The blonde scoffed. _First you're annoying as hell and now you're judging me for my sex life?_

“I’m a lesbian and all asari are pansexual women, so it’s pretty much a no brainer.”

“Like I said, a womanizer.” Clarke smirked and the brunette threw her arms in the air in frustration. _God I already hate this bitch!_

“For fucks sake, is it even possible for you not be so fucking annoying?” 

“What can I say, I’m a perfect specimen. Shall we head to the landing pad now?” Dr. Griffin shrugged, seeming content to have managed to upset the brunette and Lexa decided to refocus the conversation. _Is this a game to her?_

“Anya, Gus…”

“On our way, there’s a rover path up to the landing pad. We’ll meet you there.” Lt. Woods replied over comms and Lexa nodded at the blonde.

“Let’s move, Princess.” The Commander ordered and the blonde rolled her eyes, yet again.

“Princess? Really?”

“Better than calling you a bitch.” Lexa shot the blonde a triumphant smile and headed to the lift that led to the landing pad.

“You actually attract women with that chauvinistic attitude?”

“I was considering giving you my sidearm, now… not so much.” The brunette grumbled and pushed the elevator controls, causing the lift to him as it raised.

“I am perfectly capable of protecting myself, Commander. I just don’t feel the need to show off my best qualities until the occasion calls for it.” Clarke replied with a patronizing tone and the brunette stepped into the blonde's personal space, glaring at her angrily.

“Let me make something clear, Dr. Griffin. You are joining **my** crew and coming to live on **my** ship. If you put either one in danger, I will not hesitate to shoot you in the head myself.” Lexa spat back and made a point to meet the blonde's blue eyes, so that she was taken seriously.

“Definitely **not** how to get a girl to like you, Commander.”

“You don’t have to like me Doctor, you just have to follow my orders and protect my crew at all costs.” Lexa seethed and the blonde gave her a wide smile. _What now?_

“Guess this is a bad time to ask for larger quarters. I was thinking of turning the science lab into my quarters…” Clarke interjected and the brunette let out a huff, followed by an eyeroll.

“You **would** feel at home in a lab.”

“Well, I **was** created in one so there’s that.” The blonde retorted and before Lexa could react, Raven's voice filled the air.

"Uh, Commander… we have a fuck ton of Merc activity on the landing pad. You're gonna have to clear them out so I can land."

"Guess your plan wasn't so perfect after all, doctor."

"If you showed up on time, they wouldn't be there, Commander." Clarke argued.

"I don't suppose you'll help us clear them out, being a pacifist and all…"

"I'm willing to fight, if it's necessary." Dr. Griffin replied as the lift doors opened and the mercs immediately opened fire on the two women.

"It's fucking necessary… here!" Lexa shouted, then tossed her pistol to the blonde and found cover. To her surprise, the doctor was a crack shot and didn't waste a single bullet, as dozens of enemy bullets whizzed past her. Clarke also didn't bother finding cover, instead using her biotics to create a protective blue shield to block the bullets. _Fucking ballsy, if you ask me…_ Lexa laid down suppressive fire, while the blonde moved closer to the mercenaries and began using biotics. Groups of mercs were suddenly lifted in the air, surrounded by the glowing blue of the doctor's biotics and then flung over the edge of the cliff effortlessly. _Great, now she's going to really be a condescending bitch!_

"We're incoming, Commander!" Anya alerted her over comms and the Rover burst onto the landing pad, with machine guns firing dozens of bullets per second at the mercs. Lexa used the distraction to push forward in order to provide the doctor with more covering fire. The blonde didn't seem even slightly rattled by dozens of mercs charging her and lifting them in the air with her biotics, then shooting them in the head while they dangled helplessly. Lexa shot the mercs that got past the blonde, while Gus and Anya hopped out of the Mako to join the fight. Explosions erupted all around them from grenades flung towards them and the Commander had to roll backwards to avoid the blaze. Gus let out a roar and charged the group barrelling over them with his massive size and force. Anya used her Omni tool to hack their shields, overloading them and set the enemies' combat armor a blaze. A few seconds later, Lexa spotted the Normandy SR-2 coming in for an impromptu landing.

"Heads up, guys...coming in hot and taking out as many of these fuckers as I can!!" Raven warned them over the comms and did exactly what she said she would do. The ship hit dozens of enemy mercs as it floated above the landing pad and then drifted to a halt, only inches from hurtling over the edge. 

"Move!" Lexa ordered and charged the ship as bullets flew past her, the other three close behind her. Once on the ramp, the Commander turned and opened fire with her rifle, to cover her team as they boarded. "We're on, Rae… punch it!" The brunette ordered and the Normandy took off, the clang of bullets hitting the hull as the ramp closed behind her. 

"Want to tell me why your former employer sent an army of mercs to kill you, Dr. Griffin?" Lexa raised a questioning eyebrow and the blonde let out a breath.

"So I don't tell you that Cerberus is joining forces with Reapers and turning humans into husks, so they can wipe out the Galaxy." Clarke replied, causing everyone's eyes to bulge in shock.

"Reapers as in the ones that killed billions before the Alliance and dozens of planets joined forces to defeat them?" Anya interjected and the blonde nodded in affirmation, causing Lexa's breath to hitch. The Commander served during the last Reaper war and it was beyond brutal, fifty crew members died on her ship alone. 

"That was just a dozen Reaper ships, there are thousands headed towards the Milky Way and with an army of Cerberus genetically enhanced soldiers, we're pretty much fucked. As in trillions of casualties, hundreds of planets destroyed and entire civilizations extinct." Clarke answered and Lexa shook her head in frustration, knowing that they were about to be at war with the deadliest enemies in the universe.

"Well, shit. Guess we could use your help after all, Dr. Griffin." The Commander sighed and rubbed her temples to calm the incoming headache. _This is going to be a shitshow..._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Subject 319

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa learns about Clarke's past with Cerberus.

**Normandy SR-2**

**En route to the Citadel**

**Eight Days Later**

  
  
  


"No way in hell is Lexa letting you put an AI on this ship! What are you trying to do, experiment on us? Fucking madscientist!!" Anya shouted, glaring angrily at the blonde, yet Clarke remained completely silent and surprisingly calm. "What?! You still have **nothing** to say? No witty remarks or retorts? Oh, you really are a conceited bitch... I should kick your ass!" The coppered eyed lieutenant was inches from the blonde’s face when Lexa entered and the brunette was annoyed that she had to calm her friend down for the sake of Dr. Griffin. _She is the last person I want to protect..._

"Enough, Anya! I could hear you screaming from the damned elevator on my way down here!" The brunette's voice was commanding as she entered the Crew Deck and Anya pointed at the blonde. The copper eyed lieutenant had made a habit of taunting their new first officer and though the Commander disliked the blonde, Clarke rarely defended herself.  _ Surprising, considering she's a biotic… I assumed there would be an outburst by now, especially with the whole crew treating her like a pariah. _

"Lex, Doctor fucking Frankenstein is trying to integrate an AI on the Normandy! Tell her she can't!" Anya argued and the brunette shifted her gaze to the blonde, not hesitating in her response. _ An AI on  _ **_my_ ** _ ship?? No way in hell am I allowing that!! _

"You can't."

"Wow, that was easy. So you  **do** take the opinions of your crew into account, yes Commander?" Clarke gave the brunette a stunned look and received a shrug in return, Lexa did not want to deal with this right now.  _ We have to be at a Council meeting soon and I plan on fighting like hell to get her ass off my ship!! _

"Obviously."

"And I  **am** your first officer, yes?" The blonde redirected the Commander and the brunette fought the eye roll that seemed warranted in the situation.  _ Not for much longer, Princess!  _ Lexa still couldn’t wrap her head around Dr. Griffin’s assignment to the ship and was frustrated by the lack of explanation from her superiors.  _ Why her? She tortured people and experimented on them!!  _

"For now." The Commander smirked and didn't miss the triumphant smile on Anya's face.  _ Plus, she's annoying as hell and has no idea how to talk to people!!! Always sounding like she thinks that she is the smartest person in the room... _

"I emailed you a  **very** extensive list of reasons why we needed ALIE on board and  **you** signed off on it at 7:42 pm, last night." Clarke crossed the room and pulled up a hologram of said email, complete with Lexa's approval.  _ Fuck me!  _

"I…" Lexa was nearly speechless, remembering the email and that she...

"Didn't read my email and signed off on it to placate me?" Clarke asked with her standard condescending tone and Lexa let out a sigh of frustration, furious that the blonde outwitted her yet again.  _ Why must she  _ **_always_ ** _ be ten steps ahead of me and  _ **_always_ ** _ makes me look like an idiot? _

“Yes.” The brunette replied with a short nod, berating herself silently.

"Next time, I may include something outrageous and see what happens. Poker table, anyone?" The blonde smiled playfully and normally, a smile like that from any woman would win the Commander over. Lexa wasn’t completely blinded by her hatred for Dr. Clarke Griffin, she was willing to admit that she was very attractive and under different circumstances, the brunette would hit on her shamelessly.  _ Doesn’t matter how beautiful you are… I will not accept a monster that tortures children as my first officer and you will not convince me otherwise! _

"We have one of those." Anya grumbled and the blonde raised a questioning eyebrow, obviously she hadn’t bothered to explore the ship in the eight days she was aboard. Not that it surprised the Commander, the first officer rarely left her quarters and kept to herself unless they were on a mission.  _ Everytime we are on a mission she talks back though… granted, she’s really handy in a fight. _

"Really?"

"It's in starboard observation, we converted it to be a rec room of sorts because we never get shore leave. A problem someone like you probably never had, bet you had all kinds of vacation time with your last employer. I read a debrief from an ex-Cerberus doctor that had sixty vacation days a year because it was so stressful torturing kids and innocent people. How many vacation days did  **you** get, Doctor? I bet you had more than sixty..." Lexa smirked, hating people like this doctor who lived extravagant lives and cared nothing about the thousands that they harmed.  _ She probably thinks her experiments were for the greater good and has no intention of apologizing for any of it. _

"You really  **don't** read my emails, do you Commander?" Clarke narrowed her eyes and had an almost unreadable expression, though it seemed tinged with pain of some kind.  _ Good, at least I got under her skin and not the other way around…  _

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lexa scanned the doctor and prepared herself for the blonde’s retort, surprised that Clarke refrained from a possible jab at the Commander. 

"Doesn't matter. Do you want to hear what I have to say about ALIE, or not?" Clarke replied with a sigh and redirected the conversation to the matter at hand, rather than defend herself.  _ She had to act professionally instead of taking the bait... _

"Debrief me."

"ALIE can hack into any system, decrypt any code and upgrade the Normandy scanners well beyond its current specifications. She can scan for and analyze data we encounter on missions through our combat displays. Give us valuable Intel on our enemies, including location mapping and run simulations to improve our combat tactics. ALIE would  **not** have missed my message on the landing pad  **and** she can alert us to enemies. You would have known about the Mercs, their numbers and locations  **long** before you came face to face with them in Noveria, if you had ALIE." The blonde argued and Lexa could not find a single opening to turn it around on the doctor, letting out a sigh of defeat.  _ Why must she always be prepared for my question? I was trying to find a way  _ **_out_ ** _ of an AI on my ship and she had to make a rational argument. _

"I'll read your email before I make a decision. We dock at the Citadel in three minutes and the Council has requested that you join me when I give my report. I'll meet you in the Docking Bay so I can show you where to go, unless you'd like to find your way there on your own..." Lexa replied and hoped that the doctor would turn down her offer so she could pay a visit to Indra.  _ I have to convince her that it’s a bad idea to add a mad scientist to my crew. _

"Thank you Commander, but I will find my own way. I have some business I need to attend to first." Clarke seemed vague about her business, but Lexa was too relieved to care.  _ Good I don’t have to spent more time around her and I can figure out what the fuck is going on!! _

"Don't be late, doctor. They hate that…” The brunette smirked at the realization that maybe she  **did** have a way out of this mess and smiled triumphantly before she spoke. “ **or** ... do and get reassigned." Lexa suggested and the blonde rolled her eyes dramatically, causing the brunette to smile triumphantly. 

"As much as I wish it were otherwise Commander Shepard, we are stuck with each other and  **that's** the Council's  **last** word on the matter. Believe me, I already tried." Clarke shrugged and this was the first time that Lexa realized that the blonde truly was as unhappy as she was, finding it strangely bothersome.  _ Why, what’s wrong with me, am I not good enough for her? Wait… that’s not right… fuck! Why can’t I ever think straight around this bitch?! Focus, Lexa!! _

"Alright, then." Lexa stiffened and tried not to show that for some fucked up reason, she was offended by the blonde’s dismissal.  _ You don’t care what she thinks, so why do you care? _

"Lex, you are seriously considering letting her put an AI on the ship!" Anya interjected as they boarded the lift to the CIC and Lexa didn’t hesitate in her response, though she was surprised at her own candor.  _ If I thought things through, we could have avoided the mess on Noveria and Dr. Griffin seems to always be ten steps ahead of me. _

"Dr. Griffin was assigned to this ship for a reason and she thinks outside of the box. I went through the ship's records, our sensors caught the message she sent to us and I was too distracted to see it. If I had thought the situation through and not been so focused on being angry about her joining the crew, I would have seen it. Maybe… maybe that's why she's here, we're fighting Cerberus and she knows them better than anyone. I believe her when she says the Council won't change their mind. I've been trying too, they won't budge and I still don't know why because I don't have the security clearance." The Commander answered, surprising even herself by her response and yet it was the truth.  _ If she wasn’t a Cerberus operative, I would probably respect her... _

"Seriously? Is that even possible?"

"Apparently so. I'm going to see Indra before the Council meeting and ask her what the fuck is going on. Catch you at Nylah's Den after?" Lexa raised an eyebrow at Lt. Woods and received a nod in return.  _ A good strong drink sounds great right now… I’ll either be celebrating Dr. Griffin’s transfer or getting fucked because they didn’t transfer her.  _

"Yep. I'll be the one drowning my sorrows over being outranked and supplanted by Dr. Frankenstein." Anya grumbled and the brunette couldn't blame her, after all the lieutenant  **was** first officer eight days ago. Lexa gave her a nod and headed out of the airlock on a mission to rid herself of Dr. Clarke Griffin.  _ Who the fuck is she and why is she on my ship? I get that she had Intel on the Reapers and Cerberus joining forces, but there has to be more.  _ Lexa spent the entire trip to Indra's office deep in thought, considering both the doctor and the news of the oncoming threat. The Reapers were so deadly because they were free of emotions, because they were synths. Synthetic beings… robotic in nature with an incredibly advanced AI system running them. Reapers had one mind, one purpose… wiping out non synthetic life. They didn't feel emotions like fear or pre-battle jitters and they didn't care if another Reaper died. Reapers could turn dead humans into husks, part organic and part synthetic. Dr. Griffin believed that Cerberus had the technology to  **improve** Husks and make them even more deadly. Husks were the shit you'd only find in nightmares and almost like the zombies from old movies, but part machine.  _ Wait… can they do that to other alien species? Fuck, that would be horrifying! _

"Commander Shepard, I assumed you'd come here first and the answer is still,  **no** ." Indra offered as Lexa entered her office and the brunette clenched her jaw. 

"Why? Who the hell is she, Indra and why don't I have access to her file, the redacted shit?" The brunette argued, noticing that the Councillor looked both exhausted and annoyed.  _ Your husband was murdered by people like Clarke and you’re protecting her, why? _

"Because I want you to  **ask her yourself** and I believe that once you hear her side of the story, you will change your mind about Dr. Griffin." Indra replied, obviously having made up her mind and the brunette shook her head in disbelief.

"Are you kidding me? Have you met her? She is without a doubt,  **the** most annoying person I have ever met!" Lexa countered and Indra pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration.

"Dr. Griffin isn't interested in medals or recognition, unlike you. She wants to help people  **without** being thanked for it and I want  **you** to help her do that. Get to know her Lexa... on your own." The Councillor insisted and the brunette threw her arms in the air out of frustration.  _ Help people? Does she think it will make up for what she’s done? _

"You're asking me to make friends with a Cerberus operative and that is something I  **will no** t do!!"

"You will get to know Dr. Griffin and you will be cordial towards her going forward, that is an order, Commander Shepard. I will see you in the Council chambers in twenty minutes and expect you to behave yourself, no back talk. That will be all, Commander Shepard." Indra waved her hand dismissively and turned her attention to the datapad in her hands, signalling the conversation was over.  _ Fuck me! Ordered to be nice to a psychopath... _

"Raven… I know that you were listening in on that…" Lexa grumbled as she exited Indra’s office and as she expected, the pilot was listening in.

"Dr. Griffin was headed to the Factory District when she disembarked the Normandy." Raven replied over comms.  _ Why there? The Factory District is under mercenary control... _

"Factory District? Why would she go there?" The brunette scrunched her eyebrows together in confusion.  _ Makes no sense... _

"Don't know why, the Doc was wise enough to disable her comms the moment she disembarked and unfortunately, I can't listen in." Raven's reply caused the brunette to roll her eyes.  _ So you  _ **_are_ ** _ capable of not listening in... _

"I disable my comms  **all of the time** and yet you are literally  **always** listening." Lexa grumbled, thinking of all the inconvenient interruptions in the last year alone. 

"You don't have the mad skills Griff does, Commander." The pilot offered and the brunette did not miss that she used a nickname for the blonde.  _ Did she just call her... _

"Griff?? And what skills are we talking about, exactly?"

"The kind that makes her damned near impossible to track, unless she wants you to know where she is. Not surprising, considering that Clarke is so smart it can’t be computed in an IQ test and I call her Griff because she’s not all that bad." Raven explained and Lexa's eyes went wide in surprise, wondering why she would take the doctor's side.  _ Not two days ago, you were bitching about her telling you how to improve your piloting skills... _

"You  **have** been on the same ship as the rest of us, yes Rae?"

"Clarke had a really bad experience with cocky assholes and no offense Lex, you're all kinds of cocky." Raven replied with a snarky tone, causing the brunette to shake her head in disbelief.

"When exactly did the two of you get so cozy?"

"We're not yet, but I'm gonna make an effort. I read her file this morning and she's been through some seriously fucked up shit. Griff probably thinks that all people are monsters and has no idea what it's like to be treated with kindness. No wonder she doesn’t hang out with anyone on the ship or try to get to know us… we’ve been nothing but mean to her." Lt Reyes answered, causing Lexa to narrow her eyes in confusion as she entered the lift.  _ Did Rae just say that she read Clarke’s file? _

"Dr. Griffin’s file is redacted."

"Not anymore thanks to the brand new AI on the ship! Clarke told ALIE to declassify her file and it only took ALIE less than two seconds, she is **so** **fucking** **awesome**!!" Raven responded and the brunette was glad no one was present to see the look of absolute shock on her face. _Did she say the AI is in the ship already? I told her that I would make a decision after I read the email!! Fucking bitch is gonna get an earful!!_

"Wait… what?! When did this happen?"

"The Council received your approval yesterday and uploaded it while we slept, ALIE was fully activated before breakfast. Clarke emailed her file and all of the Cerberus research to you this morning before Anya went apeshit on her. I gave On one hell of a scolding for it and told her to get to know Griff before she jumps to conclusions. You should too, Lex… she might surprise you." Raven explained and the brunette rolled her eyes.  _ Why does everyone insist I get to know her? _

"Not likely, Rae. I'll read her file after the meeting with the Council, tell Anya I won't make it to Nylah's. I want to figure out who the hell my first officer is and why she's so fucking special to the Council." Lexa replied with a grumble and made her way to the Council chambers, surprised to see Dr. Griffin beat her there. 

"So I take it Indra told you no… again." Clarke offered as the brunette approached and Lexa nodded in affirmation.

"Let's get this over with, shall we Doctor?"

"Yes, ma'am." The blonde gave the Commander a nod and followed her into the Council Chambers.  _ Here goes nothing... _

  
  


**\----------------------------------------------------------------**

**Citadel**

**Factory District**

  
  
  


"Commander... what are you doing here?" Clarke asked with a surprised look as the brunette approached and Lexa sighed, then gave her a soft smile.

"I thought we should get to know each other, Clarke and technically, we’ve both been ordered to do so." The brunette answered sincerely, feeling awful about her actions towards the blonde after learning the truth and hoped to make amends. Dr. Clarke Griffin wasn't a Cerberus operative or even a doctor for that matter. Clarke's real name, the only one they ever gave her, was Subject 319 and up until her escape one year ago, she was a Cerberus science experiment. _That’s why Indra wanted me to give her a chance and instead I made an ass of myself. I assumed that she was a scientist, but she has been a prisoner for her entire life._ _Clarke witnessed nothing but horrors from the day that she was born, never met anyone that treated her as anything other than a freak and I added to that._

"Wow, one mutual ass reaming from the Council and we're on a first name basis? I was under the impression that you wanted us to just ignore each other going forward." The blonde replied and Lexa tried to remain calm.  _ I'm making an effort, don't give me shit about it. _ The meeting with the Council was a disaster, both women were reprimanded for trying to change Clarke's assignment to Lexa's crew and ordered to find a way to get along with each other.  _ Raven was right, we have to show her that people aren’t all monsters. _

"You're not going to make this easy on me, are you?" Lexa grumbled and the blonde narrowed her eyes.

"Make what easy?"

"I owe you an apology, Clarke." Lexa sighed and Clarke shot her a cautious glance, then scanned the brunette closely. _I know, I fucked up… just let me make this right…_ Subject 319 was created in a lab, tortured and experimented on for twenty years in hopes of creating the perfect biotic weapon. She never had a family or friends, only suffering. Lexa’s crew had met another one, just like her and the brunette had to give Clarke credit for being far more stable. _Jack would have snapped the whole crew’s necks if we treated her the way we did Clarke._

"Are your fucking with me right now?"

"I read your file and went through all of the data you recovered from Peak 15. All of Cerberus’ records and experiments on you." Lexa couldn’t meet the blonde’s eyes, too embarrassed by her stupidity and also hoping not to make the blonde uncomfortable. The last biotic Lexa had on her crew was based out of the same facility as Clarke and the way they were treated was horrific.  _ Cerberus are monsters, no doubt in that.  _ The blonde had spent the year since her escape, trying to rescue others like her and take down Cerberus anyway that she could. Clarke went from station to station, gathering Cerberus intel in hopes of stopping them and one month ago, learned they were working with Reapers. The blonde went directly to the Council and sat outside the chambers for days before they finally gave into her pleas to speak with them.  _ They treated her unfairly, just like we did...shut down the second they heard the word Cerberus. _

"I guess I should be grateful you didn't call me by my real name, then." Clarke replied after a moment of consideration and the brunette shrugged, knowing from her old crew mate that they hated being called by their numbers. Her former crewmate was known as Subject Zero, but would kill anyone that called her that, preferring to be called Jack.

"Clarke  **is** your real name and I promise to have words with anyone that says differently, even if we still hate each other." Lexa replied, meeting her eyes so the blonde knew that she meant every word.

"Thank you for that, Commander." The blonde shot Lexa a sincere smile and the brunette nodded. After she read Clarke’s file, Lexa called her former crewmate and Jack respected the blonde greatly, which was very rare. The two women were often forced into gladiator type matches from the time they were small children and they were nearly evenly matched. The loser was sent back to be upgraded and then thrown back in the ring to be tested. Clarke did not respond to the experiments in the same way as Jack and was transferred to a separate facility when they were fifteen. There they focused on upgrading her mind and turning her into a genius, yet they still used brutal methods. Rewarding her successes with highly addictive narcotics, berating her failures with physical and psychological torture.  _ I treated her like she was one of the monsters that brutalized her for two decades, no wonder she reacted the way she did. _

"I'm sorry, Clarke. I jumped to conclusions and treated you like shit based on my own assumptions. I don't blame you for your attitude towards me and I hope that we can start over, try to be friends." Lexa hoped that the blonde could see that she was being genuine and smiled when Clarke hesitantly nodded her agreement.  _ Thank you… I promise to make it up to you. _

"I'm willing to give it a shot, though I've never actually had... friends before. I have… trust issues." The blonde smirked and the Commander chuckled.  _ That makes two of us and I wouldn't trust anyone if I went through what you did. _

"I know. I don't expect you to trust me right away, but I promise that I'll do my best to earn it."

"So… are you gonna ask? I'm sure that you have a million questions..." The blonde raised an eyebrow. _Not as many as you think, I knew Jack and I know what you went through._ _I only have one question, one none of the files or records know the answer to..._

"Why take the name Dr. Clarke Griffin?"

"Made sense to use a cover and the Illusive Man isn't looking for a doctor, he's looking for a weapon. It came from the doctor that helped me escape, Dr. Abigail Griffin. She set up a transport, money to get to the Citadel and the alias Clarke Woods. She… shot herself so the Cerberus couldn’t torture the escape plan out of her and I thought that she deserved to be honored, so I took her last name." Clarke answered, obviously pained by the fact that this doctor died so the blonde would finally be free from Cerberus. 

"That's why you're a pacifist, because of what happened during your escape..." Lexa suggested, having read the report and knowing the decision Clarke was forced to make. Clarke wasn’t alone in the facility, there were sixty other subjects and most were less than twelve years old. The blonde could have run, but she decided to save the others as well, no matter the cost. Three hundred scientists, doctors and guards met their deaths at the blonde’s hands, in order to rescue sixty kids that knew nothing but a nightmarish existence.  _ Most people would have left them to save themselves… Clarke risked being re-captured for them, people she didn’t even know. _

"I decided that I wanted to be something better than what I was created for and only kill if I had no other choice. When you've been forced to do the things that I have, you either become a monster or rise above it." Clarke's expression was that of someone reliving a nightmare and Lexa respected the blonde for not giving into the darkness, like many others had.  _ Jack being a perfect example... _

"I've worked with the monster version before, it was a disaster and I had to kick her off my ship for the safety of my crew." The brunette informed her and it was clear that Clarke knew who she was referring to.

"Subject Zero, we took turns beating the shit out of each other in the arena when we were kids. I guess it's as close to having a friend as either of us have ever had." The blonde informed the Commander and the brunette smirked, deciding to lighten the mood a bit.  _ Jack respected you, she doesn’t respect anyone... _

"Jack told me, she said that you were one hell of a fighter and even managed to kick her ass a few dozen times. Between us, she may actually like you and it’s damned near impossible to get on her good side, you should be very proud." Lexa chuckled and was relieved when the blonde chuckled in return.

"Subject Zero has one hell of a temper and is arrogant as hell, you know how much I hate cockiness. I'm surprised that you went to the trouble of asking around before you spoke to me." Clarke gave the brunette a soft smile and her body seemed to relax somewhat.  _ Good, she feels comfortable, instead of holding her breath waiting for someone to try to hurt her... _

"I wanted to come into this conversation with a full understanding and a clear head. I didn’t want to come off sounding like an asshole again. I meant what I said, I want us to start over and I think we could actually be friends one day." Lexa reassured her and the blonde smiled widely. 

"You're full of surprises, Commander. I took you for a mindless brute, based on your file and military records..." Clarke offered candidly and the brunette smirked.

"I’ve done plenty of shit that I’m not proud of, Clarke. It’s hard not to seem cold when every decision you make, means life or death for someone else. I think we have that in common. Besides, if I based my opinion of you on your file…"

"You'd think I was just a mindless weapon, or a freak." The blonde replied and Lexa nodded, with an apologetic smile.

"Yep, it seems there's a lot more to both of us than what’s in our dossiers." The brunette suggested, finding some comfort in the two of them not fighting for once and sincerely hoping to start over with her.  _ We haven’t argued in a full ten minutes… that must be some kind of record. _

"Agreed, Commander Shepard."

"Call me Lexa, everyone on the crew can call me by my first name when we aren't in front of the Council and you're my crew." Lexa insisted and the blonde nodded in understanding, shooting a playful smile at the brunette.

"Lexa it is then."

"So... why exactly are we in the Factory District?" The brunette changed the subject to the matter at hand and Clarke let out a sigh.

"Smuggling people like me out of Cerberus so they can join the fight against the Reapers. I'm meeting a contact that smuggled about a dozen here in a storage container." The blonde explained and Lexa was surprised that she had come alone.  _ That's dangerous, even for you...these Mercs often go back on their word. _

"Who's the contact?"

"Bellamy Blake." Clarke answered and the brunette's eyes went wide, having heard of the Blake siblings before.  _ They're amoral and won't hesitate to backstab you if the price is right. _

"The Blue Suns Merc?" Lexa clarified and gulped when the blonde nodded in affirmation.  _ Shit, this is probably a trap!  _

"I take it that you've heard of him."

"Yeah, he's ruthless as hell and his little sister is crazy, both are known for going back on their word in the middle of a job. Are you sure you can trust him?" The brunette scanned her face and was glad to see skepticism in Clarke's expression.  _ Good, because we’re probably going to be in a fight.  _

"I don't trust anyone, but I have no choice in this particular matter. Those people need my help, most of them are just kids. There's  **nothing** worse than being raised by Cerberus and I  **won’t** turn my back on them." The blonde replied with a passionate tone and Lexa respected her desire to help others from sharing her nightmarish childhood.  _ I have to help her... _

"I'm going with you." The brunette gave her a nod, thankful that she always wore her armor and carried a side arm.  _ All it took was being blindsided by Mercs in a bar once, to always be ready for a fight. _

"You don't need to get involved in this, Lexa. It's not your fight." The blonde shook her head adamantly and the brunette shot her a wide grin.

"You're my crew, your fight is my fight and I'm not about to let you walk into a trap on your own. Lead the way, Clarke." Lexa replied and gestured that she would follow the blonde, who led them to the docks. The brunette stopped in her tracks when she spotted the mercenary group and scanned the perimeter closely. "That's a lot of muscle for a hand off…" The brunette offered, noting that Clarke was getting tense as well and yet seemed determined to do this.  _ She doesn’t back down, does she? _

"Agreed. Maybe I should talk to them alone…" Clarke suggested and Lexa shook her head

"Nope, I'm staying with you."

"Subject 319! I was beginning to wonder if you'd show up." A man, presumably Bellamy announced as they approached and Lexa noticed that the blonde stiffened at the use of her former name.

“Her name is Clarke.” Commander Shepard sneered and gave the man a stern look.  _ She’s my crew and you will be respectful, I don’t care if you have us outnumbered. _

“Right… the alias. Either way, you’re late…” The Merc shrugged and the brunette continued to glare at him angrily.  _ I’m used to being the bad cop in the scenario... _

"I'm twelve minutes early, Bell." Clarke argued and narrowed her eyes at Bellamy, who seemed impatient.  _ What is he up too? This has to be a trap... _

"Do you have the credits?" The Merc redirected and the blonde gave him a short nod.

"Yep and I will transfer it to your account, once I see that my people are safe, as per our arrangement." Clarke remained professional, though Lexa could see the wheels turning in her head and knew the blonde was preparing to attack. 

"Money upfront and I want double." Bellamy smirked wickedly, as if he had the keys to a prize and wanted to see how much she would give for it.  _ This fucking asshole is definitely setting us up!! _

"That wasn't the deal, Merc. You agreed on a price and now you ask for double?" Lexa interjected angrily and the Merc shrugged nonchalantly.

"Cerberus has been on my ass since I picked your friends up and the Illusive Man would gladly pay double for them. Money upfront and double the original price, or I go to Cerberus. We both know the Illusive Man will pay twenty times what I’m asking just to get  **you** back and desperate times call for desperate measures." Bellamy smirked and the brunette saw men in Cerberus armor approaching in the distance.  _ Dammit, I knew it!! _

"Fuck, it's a trap… Cerberus incoming." Lexa pulled out her pistol and all of the mercenaries drew their weapons, pointing them at the two women.

"What the fuck, Bell?"

"It's nothing personal 319, a man's gotta eat and the Illusive Man is very persuasive. He'd prefer you were brought to him alive, but knows you'll put up a fight. Like I said, the bounty on you is twenty times what you were gonna pay me. Bring her in, boys!" Bellamy ordered, just as two Cerberus transports arrived and hovered over them. The doors to the transports opened and two dozen soldiers jumped out and opened fire. 

"Fuck! Clarke, find cov… or you can do that." Lexa shifted from panic to awe as the blonde was surrounded by a blue light and then pushed dozens of enemies flying backwards tens of feet with her biotics. The brunette opened fire and the whole area turned into a chaotic war zone. Bullets whizzed through the air, explosions erupted and people were flung through the air by the blonde. The two women were hopelessly surrounded and out gunned, leaving Lexa only to hope help was on the way. Almost as if reading her mind, a shuttle flew in and a familiar voice filled the air.

"You two just can't stay out of trouble, can you?" Anya offered as she and Gus exited the shuttle, opening fire. The copper eyed lieutenant handed Lexa an assault rifle and a pistol to the blonde, then refocused on the fight. Gus roared and rushed forward, knocking several mercs down, before shooting them. 

"How did you know where we were, On?" Lexa shouted over the gunfire, while ducking in and out of cover to fire at the enemy.  _ Not that I’m complaining, you just saved our asses… assuming we survive this. _

"I'm not saying that the fucking AI on our ship is a good thing, but it did warn us that you were in danger." The lieutenant grumbled and tossed a grenade at a group of soldiers, then shot the ones that ran from it. Anya then overloaded their shields and overheated their weapons, while Lexa shot down the mercs with her expertly placed shots. In her peripheral vision, the brunette saw Clarke alternating between biotics and her pistol. Her focus seemed to be on the Cerberus soldiers, rather than the mercs. As the number of living enemies quickly declined, Lexa began to think this was too easy and immediately berated herself when another transport arrived. This time, instead of soldiers, a massive Mech arrived and began shooting it’s rocket launchers at them.  _ Fuck! _

"Shit… find cover!" Lexa shouted and her three crewmates scrambled to find a safe barrier to hide behind. Everywhere around them explosions erupted, the Mech operator seemed not to care if he killed Bellamy's mercs and the brunette watched as the mercs fled the scene en mass.  _ Fucking Cerberus thinks everyone is expendable! _ Bellamy himself seemed to be retreating and Clarke burst out of cover, with her pistol aimed at the Merc. Her shot incapacitated him, hitting the Merc in the leg and Bellamy fell to the ground screaming in pain.  _ You’re fucked if we survive this!! _

"Commander, take out the operator and you can disable the Mech!" Clarke shouted, causing the Commander to turn her attention back to the Mech and flung a smoke grenade at him for cover, then aimed for the operator. The armor of the Mech was heavily reinforced, but Lexa aimed for the protective glass in front of its driver. After several shots, the glass shattered and the Commander had a clear shot to kill the operator, bringing the Mech to a halt. 

"I call dibs!" Anya shouted as she ran forward and pulled the dead trooper out of the Mech, then took his place. The copper eyed lieutenant cackled as she aimed the Mech cannons at the enemy and blew them up one by one. Her squadmates were firing at any that Anya missed and with the extra firepower, the fight was over in a few short moments. The blonde walked towards Bellamy, who was dragging himself towards the exit and kicked him in the face. The Merc let out a grunt as Clarke flipped him into his back and aimed her gun at his head.

"Where are my people?" The blonde demanded, glaring at him with murder in her eyes and the Merc deflated.

"Cerberus has them… I handed them over three days ago… please, you don’t have to kill me!"

"Are you fucking kidding me?! How could you do this, betray me and send them back to Cerberus? You know what they do to people, what they did to me!!" Clarke was shouting now and Lexa saw in her eyes the same raw fury she had seen in Jack many times.  _ She’s going to kill him for this… maybe lose control and hurt us by accident. I have to calm her down before that... _

"I told you it wasn't personal, 319." Bellamy replied and before the blonde could reply, Lexa moved inches from his face.  _ Fucking asshole, I told you... _

"Her name is Clarke, call her anything else and I will put a hole in your head!! Do you know where Cerberus is holding them?" Lexa gritted her teeth and glared at him while she held the barrel of her gun against his head.

"Sanctum." The Merc answered, shaking with fear.

“Gus, stay with this asshole until C-Sec arrests him and then return to the Normandy.” Lexa ordered and the massive Krogan smiled wickedly, as he lifted the Merc in the air.

“Mind if I rough him up a bit first?” Gustus asked, with a hopeful smile and the brunette gave him a nod.

“Have at it, but I don’t want any reports to sign. We’re going to Sanctum as soon as you get back to the ship.” Lexa gave the Krogan a nod and Clarke’s face filled with shock, scanning the brunette closely. 

“We are?” The blonde asked cautiously and the brunette gave her a kind smile in return.  _ Yep, these people betrayed you and an attack on you is an attack on me. _

“Your fight is my fight, Clarke. C’mon, I’ll buy you a drink… we both need it.” Lexa replied and pretended not to notice the eye roll from Anya as she gestured for Clarke to follow.  _ We have to give her a chance… after a few drinks, I’m sure Anya will be her best buddy. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. I Was Lost Without You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew arrive at Eden Prime with Cerberus refugees. Lexa and Clarke get closer.

**Normandy SR-2**

**En Route to Eden Prime**

  
  


"I thought you'd never played poker before and yet you've won every round." Lexa raised a challenging eyebrow and the blonde smiled widely. This was likely the most fun Clarke had ever had and she never wanted it to end, hoping that there would be more days like this in her future. The month started with betrayal and fear that those she was trying to help were being used as bargaining chips in an attempt to capture the blonde. Clarke was shocked when the Commander offered to help rescue them and with ALIE’s help, they did so rather easily. The refugees were now aboard the Normandy, awaiting a new place to call home.

"I didn't realize that poker was so easy." Clarke smirked and received a room full of eyerolls in return, her crewmates seeming less than thrilled at her success in the game. She couldn’t help that Cerberus created her with a genius level brain meant to outsmart and outthink their enemies.

"It's not…" Gus, Anya and Lexa replied almost in unison, though it did seem playful. Clarke was loving this new side of her relationship with Commander Shepard and her crewmates. They no longer seemed to go out of their way to upset her and became very protective of her. They went to a club for drinks and the blonde inadvertently allowed the tattoo that identified her as the Property of Cerberus show. A neighboring group of soldiers began making verbal jabs and her crewmates started what they referred to as a bar fight. They won easily and stood over their defeated opponents, demanding they apologize to the blonde.

"It's basic math and probabilities… fifty-two cards in the deck, this is the easiest game I've ever played." Clarke shrugged and Anya rolled her eyes dramatically.

"If you're a fucking genius…" Lt. Woods grumbled, though the blonde knew that it was all in good fun. Anya and Lexa were the most protective of Clarke, though the copper eyed lieutenant often was grumpy about it. God help anyone that referred to the blonde as Subject 319 and it meant a great deal to the blonde that Lexa kept her word. 

"Add in a few decks and it gets more difficult, even for a genius." Lexa suggested and a wave of excitement filled the blonde, loving the prospect of a challenge.

"Ooh, can we do that? Please?" Clarke batted her eyelashes with a hopeful smile and the brunette smiled in return, which was becoming standard of late. The blonde couldn’t quite comprehend Lexa’s recent change in behaviour towards her, but she was enjoying it nonetheless. 

"Yep. It will even the odds of one of us actually beating you and I plan to do so occasionally. Can’t have my first officer making me look bad in front of the crew, I have a reputation to uphold." Lexa smirked playfully and the blonde was about to respond, when Raven’s voice came over the comms.

"Commander, you have a message on your private terminal from Admiral Kane."

"On my way, Raven. Deal me in, I'll be right back… no cheating." The Commander gave Anya a stern look, suggesting that the lieutenant had done so in the past and she simply rolled her eyes.

“Not sure we  **can** cheat, with this one counting all of the cards…” Anya grumbled and Lexa exited with a chuckle while Gus stood up to grab more cards.

"How many decks should we add?" The massive Krogan asked and the copper eyed lieutenant seemed to think it over before responding.

"I say we add every deck we have… that's five."

"Ooh… a challenge! This is so much fun!" Clarke’s face lit up and she sat upright in her chair, ready to add a new element to the game.

"Keep your panties on, Griff it's just a game..." Anya chuckled, likely finding the blonde’s enthusiasm exasperating and yet seemed to enjoy herself at the same time. It was difficult to tell with her, she so often seemed grumpy and yet was a very loyal companion.

"I've never played any game that didn't involve me or someone else getting hurt before." Clarke explained and noted that a pained expression crossed the lieutenant’s face, though it faded after a moment. This was also becoming normal, they felt sorry for the blonde and the horrors she experienced, yet often tried to switch it to something less serious.

"Keep beating Gus and we just might end up with a similar result, we may need to find another game to play. One you aren’t so fucking good at..." Anya smirked and the blonde looked between her two companions with wide eyes.  _ Wait… there’s... _

"There's more games than just poker?"

"A lot more, kid… though I think you'll still have an advantage." Gus chuckled and patted the blonde on the back roughly, though not enough to hurt her. He didn’t do it maliciously, the Krogan was just very strong and had on occasion accidentally broken a few things. Apparently there was a rule about him only being allowed to use metal plates and cups because Lexa was tired of having to replace the porcelain ones.

"Arriving at Eden Prime, guys. The Commander will meet the away team on the landing pad. Griff, Dr. Jackson said to bring our guests to the clinic and his staff will look them over before they move to their new homes." Raven interjected and the blonde frowned at the prospect of getting back to work, having enjoyed the downtime.  _ Seriously the most fun I’ve ever had! _

"Copy, Rae. I guess I'll catch up with you two later, don't have too much fun without me." Clarke announced as she stood up and the massive Krogan shook his head with a playful smirk.

"Wouldn't dream of it, kid. We’re having a rematch once everyone is settled and I plan on actually winning!" Gus replied heading to gear up for their departure and the other two followed suit. It wasn’t going to be an eventful trip to the surface, just some diplomatic chit chat and getting the refugees settled with the colony. However, the team had a bad experience where they weren’t armed and armored, so Lexa demanded everyone be ready for a fight anytime they left the ship. It was smart, being prepared for the worst, especially in their profession.  _ We’re on the most famous ship in the galaxy, led by the infamous Commander Lexa Shepard. We basically have targets on our back announcing that any trouble should come find us.  _ The blonde met up with the refugees and they were greeted by an Alliance soldier that offered to escort them to Dr. Jackson, the head physician on Eden Prime.

  
  
  
  


**\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Eden Prime Colony**

**Clinic**

“Dr. Griffin, welcome. I’m Dr. Eric Jackson, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” The dark haired man offered his hand to shake and gave her a genuine smile.

“My pleasure as well. Thank you for being so willing to help with the refugees.”

“Of course, it is part of our oath to help those in need and I’ve dealt with victims of Cerberus before. It’s not just physical pain they deal with, but mental as well. The Illusive Man loves indoctrination and many of his victims believe that what is done to them is for the greater good of humanity. We have support groups here to help them through that and hopefully they will heal with some support.”Jackson explained as he led her through the clinic and it brought a smile to the blonde's face. Clarke had more than her share of the indoctrination Jackson mentioned, in fact it was the most difficult part to overcome. Cerberus found that their experiments were more pliable if they believed they were doing it for a grand purpose and that they were the last hope for mankind. Even more than a year after gaining her freedom, Clarke occasionally suffered from episodes of recurring subconscious thoughts plaguing her mind.  _ Cerberus will save humanity, Cerberus is the greater good. _ It repeated over and over, usually lasting several days and often ended with her having a violent outburst. If Dr. Jackson could find a way to undo or even relieve the obsessive thinking, Clarke would gladly sign up.

“Sounds like we came to the right place.”

“I’m glad to hear that, Dr. Griffin… Commander, I wasn’t expecting you… looks like your arm is healing nicely if you’re able to carry that rifle so easily.” The doctor shifted his gaze over the blonde's shoulder and smiled at the brunette Commander as she entered the clinic.

“Full mobility Doc, just the occasional ache in the shoulder, but nothing to complain about. Thank you again, Eric.” Lexa replied with a confident tone and the blonde looked between the two for an explanation.  _ Lexa's file doesn't mention an arm injury... _

“Commander Shepard was a mess the last time she was here, damn near got her arm blown off. We happened to have a former Cerberus doctor, like you to help me with the surgery and reattach her arm using Cerberus tech. The Commander is part synthetic... well, her right arm is." Jackson explained and the blonde shot the Commander a smirk.

“Doing something heroic, I assume?”

“Reapers blew up my damn ship and yes Clarke, I stayed behind to save the rest of my crew.” Lexa shrugged nonchalantly, causing Clarke to shake her head and grin.  _ Always has to be a fucking hero. _

“You can’t help yourself, can you?”

“My crew is the only family I have and for the record Clarke, I’d stay behind to save you too.” The brunette replied sincerely and had a look on her face that the blonde couldn't quite read.  _ Is it a hint of embarrassment or insecurity? _

“I know you would.”

“They’ve found a prothean beacon to the east of the colony and I’m heading to check it out.” Lexa offered and Clarke nodded her understanding, prepared to join her.

“Alright, lead the way.”

“You should stay here and get everyone settled. I’ve got Anya and Gus… we can handle an ancient artefact.” The Commander shook her head and seemed like it was something routine, given her mission it probably was. The blonde however, had never actually seen one of the Prothean sites before.

“I wouldn’t mind actually seeing one… I’ve heard so much about them and that the Protheans defeated the Reapers thousands of years ago. Maybe we can learn something from them.” Clarke gave the brunette a hopeful smile, though it was immediately clear that Lexa wanted her stay behind.  _ Why? _

“The Citadel is full of Prothean technology you can research, this is just a big statue of some kind. Anya is gonna scan all the data, so you can go over it on the ship. Stay here and help the refugees get settled, you can relate to them and make sure they feel safe here. I promise if anything looks interesting, I’ll call you.” The brunette insisted and Clarke realized it was because the refugees seemed to only trust her. They hardly spoke to anyone outside of the blonde in the three weeks they spent on the Normandy SR-2 and Lexa likely wanted to make them feel comfortable being left on Eden Prime. _ Okay, fair enough. _

“Understood, Commander." Clarke nodded and then watched as the brunette turned to leave before she resumed the tour with Dr. Jackson.

  
  
  


**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**The Barn**

**Cerberus Space Station**

**One Month Later**

  
  


"Lex… is it really you?" The blonde's voice was barely a whisper, her throat raw from lack of water and hours of screaming in anguish. She knew that she must look terrible, there were cuts covering her face, wrists raw from the cuffs holding her and deep circles under her eyes. There were electrodes placed all over her body and several tubes injecting drugs in her veins. The brunette stroked the blonde's face gently, careful not to touch the cuts and gave her a heartbroken look. 

"Shh… I've got you, Clarke." Lexa's voice was calm as she removed the tubes and electrodes, then the metal bindings that kept her on the table. The blonde had thought it would be a relief to sit up after being strapped to a table for weeks and yet it brought on another wave of pain. Sore muscles and raw skin, nearly to the bone of her wrists. When the Commander helped her to her feet, the blonde realized how weak her legs were, having not been used in weeks. If not for the brunette supporting her weight, Clarke would have fallen down and she wasn't certain if she would be able to get back up if that happened. It hurt her whole body to move and yet she ignored the pain to throw grateful arms around her saviour.

"Thank you… for not abandoning me." Clarke's voice was shaky, tears of relief filled her eyes and Lexa pulled back to wipe them with a surprisingly soft touch.

"I would never abandon you, Clarke. Can you walk?"

"I think so, but I'll need help." Clarke answered and the brunette wrapped a strong arm around the blonde's waist to support her.

"I've got you, lean as much of your weight on me as you need and if you need to rest, tell me." Lexa assured the blonde and then helped the blonde make the long trek to the building's exit. Clarke was aware of the sounds of gunfire in other areas of the facility, but they seemed to be safe as the brunette led her through what looked like a service tunnel. Finally, they stopped at a vent cover and Lexa set the blonde down, then used a laser cutter to clear the way. The brunette lifted Clarke back on her feet and helped her through the opening. After a painfully long walk, often interrupted so the blonde could rest, they reached another vent cover and once again, Lexa cut through the metal to create an opening. The brunette lifted Clarke once more and the blonde smiled when she spotted the Normandy SR-2 on the landing pad. On the ramp was Raven, laying down covering fire with an assault rifle and she gave the blonde a wide grin.

"Welcome back, Griff." The pilot offered and continued to fire at the approaching enemy, causing the blonde to scan her surroundings. They weren’t fighting alone, there was a large group of biotics and N7 soldiers holding back waves of enemy Reaper Husks. Gus and Anya were at the front line, accompanied by Subject Zero. The heavily tattooed biotic was hurling dozens through the air effortlessly and letting out a terrifying war cry as she fought.  _ Damn, they called in a lot of favors to rescue one person. _

"Nyko, we'll meet you in the Med Bay… everyone else, fall back to the ship and prepare to take off." Lexa ordered over comms and Subject Zero's voice came over the air.

"We'll cover you, Lex. These Reaper assholes don't stand a chance. Tell 319 she owes me… big-time!" Jack replied as the brunette helped Clarke up the ramp and towards the Med Bay. 

"Will do, Jack. Thanks again for the help." 

"Us science experiments gotta stick together, if we want to take down the Reapers and I'll never turn down a fight with Cerberus. Besides, I was getting bored with just teaching kids. You can buy me a few dozen drinks next time we see each other and I'll consider the debt paid in full." Subject Zero replied in her standard cocky tone as they entered Med Bay.

"You've got yourself a deal, Jack." Lexa and Nyko helped the blonde onto one of the beds. Clarke winced from the pain of her wounds and sore muscles, eliciting a concerned look from the brunette Commander. 

"I'm okay, just sore and exhausted…" Clarke promised and did her best to smile in an attempt to put Lexa at ease. It didn't work, the brunette was likely busy blaming herself for allowing the blonde to be captured and tortured by Cerberus. 

"I thought I lost you…" Lexa's voice cracked as she fought hard against the emotions that threatened to spill over and the blonde squeezed her hand with a frail grip.  _ God, she almost looks like she's going to cry… I didn't think big bad Commander Shepard was capable of it... _

"You didn't… believe it or not, I've had much worse." Clarke shook her head, ignoring Nyko and the sting of antiseptic as he carefully cleaned her wounds, dutifully pretending not to hear the two women. 

"This is my fault. If I hadn't insisted on you staying at the clinic to help the refugees, the Shadow Broker wouldn't have captured you and sold you back to Cerberus. I'm so sorry, Clarke." Lexa held the blonde's hand and gently stroked her face with her free hand, giving her a grief stricken look.  _ She's so worried about me... _

"It's not your fault, Lex. I'll be okay, I promise."

"Clarke, I don't know what I would do if I lost…" Lexa was cut off by a familiar voice.

"Commander, everyone is on board and we're ready for take off. Also, you have an incoming message from Admiral Kane, patching it through to the Med Bay terminal." Raven interjected over the comms and the Commander took a calming breath.

"Copy that Raven." Lexa gave the blonde a sad smile and nodded to Nyko as she crossed the room to take the call.

"Commander Shepard. I've been looking forward to meeting you. I understand that you have something that belongs to me and I want her returned to me." The man's voice was once that had so often been the center of the blonde's nightmares.  _ The Illusive Man! _

"It's him Lex… The Illusive Man." Clarke forced herself to sit up, ignoring the pain and gave the brunette a terrified look.

"You son of a bitch!! I will make you pay for what you did to her and for all of the innocent people you've hurt!" The Commander's stance and expression was one of a woman that intended to kill someone.

"Oh, yes! That's the woman I've heard so much about! You've made quite the name for yourself, Commander. The whole galaxy has heard of your heroism and they are under the mistaken impression that you will save them from the Reapers. You won't." The Illusive Man replied with his standard confidence. He truly believed that he was some kind of messiah sent to save humanity and that it justified the countless, horrific experiments he ordered.

"We'll see about that."

"You have a rare talent Commander, you inspire loyalty. Subject 319 refused to share any insights about you and considering the amount of pain she was in, it speaks volumes. Perhaps we can come to an arrangement. If you return Subject 319 to me and do so without a fight, I won't have your entire crew killed in front of you when the Reapers launch the attack." His words caused the blonde to panic, knowing that Lexa put his crew before everyone else.  _ If it's between them and me, she'll choose... _

"Go fuck yourself!" Lexa shouted and clenched her jaw angrily as she ended the transmission, then shifted her gaze to Clarke.

“He means it… he’ll make you pay. You should just…” The blonde shook her head, with tears in her eyes and was suddenly afraid that the brunette would have no choice but to hand her over. Lexa crossed the room and gently wiped the blonde's tears, giving her a look Clarke couldn't make out.

“No, Clarke...I was lost without you. I’ll die before I let that asshole get his hands on you again. I will  **never** let them take you, I promise. I'll always protect you, even if I have to fight the whole Galaxy to do it. I won't lose you, not again." The Commander finished and there was no doubt in the blonde's mind that she was sincere.

"Clarke, I'm going to give you something for the pain, it will make you tired but you need the rest. Commander, I'll keep you posted on her condition." Nyko interjected and Lexa gave him a nod, yet showed no intention of leaving the blonde's side.

"Thanks, Nyko." Clarke replied and the moment he pressed the stim to her neck, the blonde's eyes grew heavy.

"She'll be out of it for several hours, Lexa." Nyko offered quietly as Clarke closed her eyes and she felt a hand take her own.

"I'll be here when you wake up, Clarke. I promise…" Lexa whispered and the blonde thought she could feel someone brush her face, before she was swallowed into darkness.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Making Bets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa starts hunting down the ones responsible for Clarke's abduction. Clexa dance around their growing feelings towards each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting, got caught up in writing another fic and a one shot. Both are very different from this fic, but if you're interested you can give them a chance.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

**Citadel Station**

**C-Sec (Citadel Security)**

  
  
  


“Commander Shepard, I guess you’re not here to pardon m…” Bellamy was cut off by a hard right punch from the brunette and landed on the floor with a grunt. Before he could recover, Lexa grabbed him by the shirt with one hand and punched him again with the other.

“Your sister tracked my ship and alerted the Shadow Broker to Clarke’s location. Do you know what Cerberus does to the people that escaped them?” The brunette demanded sharply and gave the dark haired mercenary a murderous glare when he chuckled. It had been two weeks since they rescued Clarke and overall, she was fully recovered. However that didn't change the fact that it would likely happen again if Lexa didn't beat them to it. Half the galaxy was looking for Clarke and the Illusive Man put a two million credit bounty on the blonde. There was no way in hell Lexa would let them take Clarke from her again, though she knew she didn't exactly have a claim to her.

“They torture them to death, can’t reward bad behavior or the other experiments start to have hope. I’d say it was nothing personal, but it totally was… I have the death penalty in five systems. 319 condemned me to die, did you think I would forget who arrested me?” Bellamy smiled triumphantly and the brunette punched him in the face, breaking his nose.  _ You fucking dick! _

“Her name is Clarke and I was the one that arrested you, not her!”

“You say potato… I say…” The Merc replied with a smirk, cut off by a kick to the stomach and laughed maniacally, as if this were a game.  _ Sick fuck actually thinks he has the upperhand, just wait asshole…  _

“Fuck you! Where’s your sister, Bellamy?”

“Like I’d tell you.”

“Oh, you will talk asshole! Best part of being a Spectre is the authority to use any means necessary to complete the mission and I need that information. Captain Shumway, I authorize the transfer of this prisoner to Omega Station.” Lexa gave the order over comms and smirked at the Merc’s reaction, face drained of all color. 

“Understood, Commander Shepard.”

“Omega? That station is run by criminals, not Alliance and I owe Costia T’Loak...” Bellamy shook his head and looked like he’d just seen a ghost, not that the brunette could blame him. Costia was known throughout the galaxy for her ruthless tactics when someone backed out of a deal and Bellamy Blake fucked with the wrong asari. Lexa had worked with her on several occasions and Omega was one of the stations they frequented due to the information that could be gathered by Costia’s underground contacts.

“Sixty thousand credits, plus five years of interest and your late payment penalties comes to a hundred thousand, maybe a bit more. We both know how Costia will collect her losses and for the record Blake, this is personal too.” Lexa finished for him, having contacted the crime lord and made an arrangement that benefited them both.  _ Cos will get him to talk and also make an example out of him for all the mercenaries who might consider double crossing her in the future. _

“Wait! You can’t do this, she’ll torture me to death… slowly!”

“I already made the arrangements, Cos is looking forward to your arrival and has something very special planned for you. I’ll pay you a visit once Costia tells me that you’re feeling more talkative. Goodbye, Bellamy.” Lexa turned on her heel and exited the cell, ignoring the desperate pleas of the dark haired mercenary.

“NO!! Don’t do this… please!!”

“I gotta say, I kinda feel sorry for the poor bastard… Costia T’Loak is the last person you want to piss off. The Council has been turning a blindeye on her criminal activities for decades, how’d a Spectre end up so chummy with her?” Shumway offered as the brunette collected her weapons and gear from the guard. She and Costia had… history. They had been friends (with the occasional benefits) for years now, not that it was anyone's business, but Lexa wasn't interested in admitting that to Shumway.

“That’s classified, Captain Shumway. Four of T’Loak’s associates will be escorting Blake on the prisoner transport to make certain there are no attempts to rescue him. I expect regular updates until he is in Costia’s custody and list of every C-Sec officer assigned to the transport.” Lexa replied with an expressionless face and the Captain straightened his back, then nodded his understanding.

“Yes ma’am.”

“Raven, advise the crew that we depart in an hour, I need to make a stop at the markets.” The brunette informed the pilot, as she entered the elevator to the Lower Wards and silently considered what she would purchase.  _ Clarke said she likes to draw… art supplies, maybe? _

“Copy, Commander.” 

  
  


**************************************

**Normandy SR-2**

**Clarke's Quarters**

  
  


“Take that, Griff!” Raven exclaimed, as Lexa entered what was once the ship's Science Lab and spotted the two women on Clarke's bed, concentrating on a video game projected on a holo. The brunette set the box in her hands on the table, suddenly embarrassed to give the blonde the present she bought in front of her pilot. She rarely bought individual crew members a gift, opting to buy something that was for the entire crew so as not to seem biased. Now here she was with an entire art kit that she bought specifically for Clarke and Lexa knew that Raven would never let her live it down.

“Dammit! I suck at this game… this is nothing like the other games we’ve played.” Clarke grumbled and let out a sigh of frustration as the Commander quietly approached. 

“That’s why I thought this would be good for you… a game you can't use that super brain of yours as an unfair advantage. You gotta learn to actually lose occasionally, Griff.” Raven gave the blonde a cocky smirk and the biotic looked like her favorite toy was suddenly taken from her. It was clear that Clarke was not accustomed to losing, not surprising considering the pressure she was under to always win.

“What the hell is a banana peel and why does it fuck me up everytime?” The blonde asked and then shifted her gaze to the Commander, who let out a chuckle.

“I see that Raven duped you into playing one of her ancient videogames.” Lexa answered, giving the pilot a playful smirk and Raven smacked the brunette.

“Hey, Mario Kart is a classic and you've played it a million times Commander, so shut it! To answer your question, a banana is a fruit and it's peel is traditionally known for causing people to slip. So if you drive over it, your car slides all over the place.” Raven exclaimed and the blonde chewed on her bottom lip, as if trying to solve a puzzle.

"I wanna try it again."

"No problemo, Griff." Raven began to reload the game and Lexa cleared her throat.

"Not to be a buzzkill, but aren't we supposed to be taking off Lieutenant?"

"Right, duty calls. We'll have a rematch later Griff." The pilot stood up and shot the Commander a knowing smile as she exited.

"How are you feeling, Clarke?" Lexa asked, once Raven was gone and received a soft smile from the blonde. Nyko suggested that she be on bed rest until she was fully healed and when the blonde grumbled about it, Lexa made it an official order. 

"Much better, I meant to thank y… Is that blood on your hand, Lex?" Clarke's eyes went wide and she scooted off the bed in a flash, to examine the brunette's hand.

"Uh yeah, it's nothing to worry about."

"Your knuckle is split open. Did you get into a fight with someone?" Clarke had a concerned look on her face as she inspected the bloody hand and Lexa internally berated herself for not cleaning it before coming to see the blonde.

"Not... exactly." 

"Nyko should take a look at this..." The blonde insisted and the Commander shook her head. It wasn't worth fussing over and definitely not the first time, though Clarke's concern made the brunette feel good.

"I don't need to see Nyko, it's minor and besides, he'll just lecture me about…" Lexa argued, though she was secretly enjoying the blonde fussing over her.

"Getting into fights?" Clarke raised a questioning eyebrow and smirked playfully at the brunette, causing her to blush.

"It wasn't a fight… more like the extraction of information." The Commander countered and the blonde raised an eyebrow.

"The kind of extraction that involves hurting people, Lex?" Clarke clarified, causing the brunette to let out a defeated sigh and knew there was no fooling the biotic. 

"Yes, Clarke." 

"Well, it just so happens that I have a med kit and I promise, no lectures. Sit." The blonde gestured for her to take a seat on the bed while she grabbed a medkit from a drawer. Clarke sat next her and carefully cleaned the brunette's wound before bandaging it. The Commander caught herself staring at the blonde as she worked and quickly shifted her gaze when Clarke finished.

"This is… very different from the last time I was in here. " Lexa offered, looking around the room in awe and wondered where the blonde found so many plants. It looked almost like she lived in a room sized garden, flowers and plants native to a number of different planets hanging everywhere.

"Uh, yeah… I love plants, I never saw one until a year ago and I fell in love. Anya gave me that plant over there and I thought it was so pretty that I bought more. I had no idea how many different kinds there were." Clarke smiled as she looked around her room and then pointed to the tree Anya had given her. 

"It's a bonsai tree actually." Lexa corrected and smiled at the surprise on the blonde's face.

"That tiny little thing is a tree?"

"Miniature tree, but yes."

"Huh, the galaxy never ceases to amaze me. After twenty years as a lab rat, I never imagined how beautiful it was out here. Was there something you wanted to show me?" Clarke gestured at the case Lexa had set on the table when she entered and the brunette gave her a nervous smile. The blonde  _ would _ notice that she had brought it in with her, she noticed everything.

"Yes, I got you something."

"A present... for me?" The blonde's face lit up as Lexa handed her the case and the brunette hoped that she liked it as much as the plants. Lexa knew next to nothing about art and trusted the shopkeeper's advice on what the brunette should purchase. It was more money than she usually spent, though it didn't matter as long as Clarke liked it.

"You said that you like to draw, so I…" Lexa explained, only to be cut off by a squeal of delight and an impromptu hug from the blonde.

"Lexa, this is perfect, thank you." 

"I'm glad you like it."

"I don't like it, I love it! Thank you so much, this was so thoughtful of you!" Clarke corrected as she pulled out of the hug, with a bright smile and it caused a wide grin to fill the brunette's face in return.

"It is my pleasure Clarke, especially if it makes you smile like that. I'd do anything to keep you happy." Lexa replied, not meaning for it to come out as flirtatious as it sounded and gulped nervously when she realized her slip up.

"Wanna play this kart game with me? I have to learn to beat Raven, she made me look like an imbecile and I refuse to give her the satisfaction of a repeat." Clarke suggested and the brunette nodded with a wide grin.

"I can't promise that you'll beat me, I've been told I'm as ruthless in Mario Kart as I am in a fight and I won't throw the game, even for you." Lexa replied and the blonde lit up with excitement as they scooted to a more comfortable position on her bed, then handed the brunette a controller.

"I don't mind, as long as you don't hold back secret information about banana peels, like Raven did." Clarke gave her a wink and the brunette chuckled.

"I would never keep something like that from you, Clarke. I believe in a fair fight, unlike most people." 

"Even when you're beating up prisoners to get them to tell you where their sister is?" Clarke gave her a challenging look and the brunette's cheeks flushed. 

"Point taken… how did you know? You've been stuck in your room."

"I have my own ways of getting intel, even with orders from my overprotective commanding officer to stay in my room. You've been busy trying to hunt down the Shadow Broker and you haven't exactly been quiet about it. I appreciate you trying to protect me, it means a lot." The blonde shrugged and then threw a shy grin towards the brunette.

"That bastard kidnapped you right under my nose, Clarke. I gave them the opening..." Lexa shook her head and looked down in shame, blaming herself yet again. She promised to take care of Clarke and the Commander left her behind to look at a stupid ten thousand year old statue. The blonde wanted to come along and yet Lexa insisted she stay behind. It wasn't the Shadow Broker's fault Clarke was kidnapped and tortured, it was Lexa's. At least that's what the Commander repeatedly told herself.

"The Shadow Broker is the best at what he does and has thousands of contacts across the galaxy, it was only a matter of time before the Illusive Man contacted him. It isn't a reflection on you, Lex and it's not your fault. These people are gazillionaires, as Raven calls them and it's hard to compete with that." Clarke reassured her and set a hand on the brunette's thigh in an attempt to comfort her.

"I'm supposed to protect you, Clarke."

"Lex, you called in badass biotic reinforcements and charged into a Cerberus facility to rescue me, knowing it was likely a suicide mission. The whole fucking galaxy is depending on you save them from the Reapers a second time and you risked that not happening for a girl you've known for a few months. In my book, that is some serious fucking protection if you ask me and I know you'd do it again." The blonde smiled softly and the brunette nodded her agreement.

"Always. What's your character?"

"Yoshi… he's so adorable! Are there real creatures like him?" Clarke seemed excited again and it caused the brunette to chuckle.

"Not that I've seen. I admit, I assumed you'd be the Princess." Lexa smirked and then laughed at the disgust on the blonde's face.

"Ugh, who wants to be a princess? They're always having to be rescued by someone." Clarke grumbled and Lexa gave her a smart ass look in return.

"Sounds like someone else I know."

"Jerk! Now I'm definitely determined to kick your ass in this game!" The blonde slapped her playfully and then had that look she got on her face when she was resolved to do something. The two then started to play and as the brunette warned, she remained fiercely competitive despite her secretly wanting to let Clarke win. By the time Anya entered the blonde's room, they were tied for wins and the Lieutenant rolled her eyes dramatically.

"Lex, you do realize that we were ready to disembark over two hours ago when you told Raven to give you a second to finish the round, yes?"

"Shit, sorry. It's totally my fault… this one kept insisting on a rematch when I won." Clarke replied with a mischievous smile and the brunette shrugged.

"I told you, I'm ruthless."

"And can't stand that I caught up to you, just admit that you're no match for me now that I have this game figured out."

"I would never give you the satisfaction of admitting defeat, no matter how many times you bat those eyelashes."

"Stop flirting with the pretty girl and get suited up already, Lex. Our contact has been waiting on us." Anya grumbled and both women's faces went red with embarrassment, before the brunette quickly scooted off the bed.

"Give me a few minutes, jackass. I'll see you later, doctor." Lexa said as she rushed out of the blonde's quarters, well beyond the point of embarrassment and headed to gear up. 

"So… you gonna actually make a move or continue with the heart eyes in silence?"

"I can't believe you said that, On! You made Clarke uncomfortable."

"You mean she made you uncomfortable, because for some reason Commander Panty Dropper turns into a puddle around Griff. You have no problem getting women to hop in bed with you and were well on your way to a one night stand record. Blondie shows up and you haven't had a fling since." Raven corrected as she approached, causing Gus and Anya to burst into laughter. It wasn't exactly a secret that Commander Shepard was a ladies woman, a fact that Clarke herself threw in the brunette's face when they met. That was a big part of why Lexa had been so slow to act on her feelings, out of fear that the blonde would reject her based on the Commander's reputation. 

"She's not wrong, Lex." The massive Krogan suggested as he pulled a shotgun out of the weapons locker. 

"Enough! We're just friends."

"Mmm-hmm not believing that for a second. Just make a move already, the wait is killing me and I've already lost more money than I planned on betting on you two getting together." Anya countered and Lexa gave her an incredulous look.

"You've been betting on us, Anya? Who else is in on this?"

"The entire fucking crew, plus Jack and Indra. Indra's lost more money than any of us and even got the asari Councillor to throw in some money." Anya smirked as Raven and Gus nodded in agreement. The Council Members are betting on Clarke and I hooking up?

"Indra? Are you kidding me with this?" Lexa's eyes went wide and she shook her head in disbelief. Did everyone know how she felt about Clarke? Here she thought she was being discreet, granted she did just buy the blonde an overly expensive present.

"Nope, she put down a thousand credits that you'd sleep with Griff the moment we rescued her from the Barn. Just so you know, she's a sore loser and was not very friendly about paying up. I gave her a chance to recoup her money and she doubled down on you sleeping together before the Reapers attack. I suggest you don't disappoint her again, Commander." Raven replied with a confident grin and the brunette let out a huff of frustration.

"I cannot believe any of you! You know how I feel about workplace romances and besides, I'm not even certain if…"

"Griff is totally into you, but she's also not sure how that works exactly. She spent her entire life in a lab being experimented on and has never even kissed someone before, so she's waiting for you to take the lead. So man up and kiss her already, Lex." Raven offered and it only served to make Lexa even more embarrassed. She honestly hadn't considered the fact that Clarke had no idea how romance worked outside of the clinical description of it she learned from all the books she read and it almost made Lexa ashamed of her over abundance of experience in the matter.

"Can we please focus on the mission, instead of my love life or lack thereof? Reyes, take the Normandy into orbit until the mission is complete so no one has a chance to kidnap Dr. Griffin… again." Lexa grumbled and hit the airlock controls to disembark, wanting to talk about anything but this. If this mission turned out the way she hoped, they'd learn the location of another Cerberus station that had information on defeating the Reapers.

"Copy, Commander."

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.


	5. Illium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and crew hunt down Octavia on Planet Illium.

**Planet Illium**

**Docking Bay**

  
  


“Dammit Lexa, I’m going with you and there’s nothing you can do about it.” Clarke demanded, and the brunette shook her head adamantly, giving her a stern look.

“No, you are not! You are staying here and that’s an order!” Lexa’s voice was commanding, and she clenched her jaw as she glared angrily at the blonde.

“Lex, I know Octavia a hell of a lot better than you do and...”

“How, you’ve been free for what a year? You do not understand how dangerous this mission will be, Clarke. The Blake girl is a Merc, we cannot trust her, and she’s the reason they captured you. It’s too risky, I won’t allow it.” The brunette argued and Clarke got that look she got whenever she had a detailed list of reasons she should do something.

“First, she was my contact when I escaped and gave me a place to stay while I was finding others like me. We stayed right here on Illium, making me better equipped to help you find her because I know the building like the back of my hand. Second, I’m perfectly capable of handling myself in a fight, which you’ve seen with your own eyes and therefore will be in no more danger than you are. So stop being so fucking stubborn and let me come with you!” The blonde retorted with a calm tone and it only made the brunette turn almost purple with anger.

“Kid has a point, Lex.” Gustus interjected and received a murderous glare from the Commander in return.

“Stay out of this, Gus! Clarke, you are much safer aboard the Normandy and that is where you will stay, end of discussion.” Lexa countered and a triumphant smile crossed the blonde’s lips, meaning the brunette was about to lose the argument.

“Really? What if someone shoots it down or hijacks it? I’ve seen the ship’s logs and I know for a fact that **both** have happened in the last two years, under your command!”

“The Commander’s not trying to argue with Griff about being on the away team, is she?” Anya offered as she approached the others, who had stopped suiting up to watch the quarrel and were shaking their heads in disbelief.

“Yep, they’ve been going at it for an hour and not in the way we hoped. This will definitely set them back a few days.” Raven sighed, as she was the one that set up all the bets on the blonde and brunette.

“I do not get those two, they go from gushy heart-eyes to arguing like sworn enemies in less than a second.” Anya grumbled and shook her head in frustration. They were definitely unpredictable, though it was mostly because of them not admitting their feelings for each other. If Lexa just admitted that she wanted Clarke to stay because the thought of losing her terrified the Commander, the blonde would be more understanding and might even agree to stay behind.

“To my people, that’s a mating call and they cannot consulate their love until they prove their strength in a joint battle. I always thought Lexa should have been born a Krogan, I bet if Clarke comes along on this mission they kiss at the end.” Gus chuckled and Raven shot him a devilish smile.

“Gonna put your money where your mouth is, big guy?”

“You got it, little bird. Make it five hundred credits that the Commander kisses her once they make it through this alive.” The Krogan gave her a toothy grin, which was terrifying given his sharp teeth.

“You assume that Lex loses this argument.” Anya interjected.

“When has she ever won an argument with Clarke? I mean look at her, she’s already on reason number twelve why it would be both illogical and irresponsible to not bring her on this mission.” Raven countered, and the copper eyed lieutenant shrugged.

“True, but Lex is scared shitless she might lose her, so all those logical arguments Blondie is making is falling on deaf ears.”

“I repeat my question… want to bet on it?”

“I’m nearly broke from betting on those two already.” Anya grumbled, and it was true for everyone invested in the couple. They were so ridiculously stubborn, refusing to admit their feelings for each other.

“I’ll spot you, if you lose you can make it up to me in sexy time.” Raven smiled and Anya didn’t hesitate in her response.

“All in.”

“Look at my girlfriend, going all in for sex.” The pilot shot her girlfriend a sappy grin and wrapped an arm around her waist.

“Either I’m rich or stuck in bed… it’s a win-win situation.” Anya replied.

“Is it weird that logic turns me on?”

“Whatever you three are talking about, it’s inappropriate so knock it off!” Lexa barked as she approached, looking furious and Raven gave her a hopeful smile.

“I take it that means Clarke’s going on the away team?”

“Yes.” The Commander answered with her jaw clenched angrily.

“Looks like Lieutenant Hottie owes me a shit ton of sex.”

“Like I said, win-win.” Anya shrugged.

“You can’t be serious! You made bets on her coming on this mission?” Lexa’s eyes went wide as she looked between the three crew members and they all nodded in affirmation. 

“You and Griff will make me very wealthy, Commander. So get a move on and kiss her already.” Raven smirked.

“I am not in the mood to kiss **anyone** right now.” Lexa grumbled, looking like she was ready to deck the first person who looked at her the wrong way.

“Ok, well if you change your mind while there are a hundred bullets whizzing past your heads, it might be too late.” Anya suggested.

“That is precisely why I don’t want Clarke coming on this mission! What if she gets hurt or kidnapped or even killed?” Lexa sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, looking defeated.

“Blondie is a hell of a fighter and it wouldn’t be right not to bring her, it is **her** battle. Would you want to sit in your quarters while someone else apprehended the person who sold you back to the people that tortured and experimented on you for twenty years?” Anya argued and Lexa shook her head, letting out another frustrated sigh.

“Let’s get this show on the road, I can’t wait to set foot on the ground and smell the fresh air. Lexa, there is an amazing restaurant close to the apartments, and I thought we...” Clarke looked excited, not that anyone could blame her after being stuck on the ship for over a month at Lexa’s command and the brunette cut her off.

“I’m not interested in anything other than arresting Octavia Blake. You can keep the commentary on Illium nightlife to yourself.” Lexa barked and the blonde’s smile faded immediately, while their crewmates looked shocked.

“So… you aren’t interested in…” 

“No, I am not! What else do I have to say in order for you to get that through that thick skull of yours?” The brunette was nearly shouting and Clarke looked heartbroken.

“I’ll uh… meet you guys in the Docking Bay.”

“Whelp, you two are **definitely not** getting together now and I just lost a fuck ton of credits.” Anya grumbled, shaking her head in disbelief, and the pilot smacked the brunette on the arm as hard as she could.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Lexa?! Clarke’s been nervous as hell about asking you on a date and when she finally gets the courage, you tell her to go fuck herself?!” Raven threw her arms in the air and the brunette gave them all a deer in headlights look.

“Wait... Clarke was asking me on a date?”

“YES!” All three officers exclaimed in unison and rolled their eyes.

“Dammit! I’m such a fucking idiot!”

“That’s an understatement. Why the hell are you still standing here? Go apologize before she finds someone that wants to go on a date with the hot blonde that **you** turned down, like an imbecile!!” Anya gave her an incredulous look and the brunette made a beeline for the airlock, finding the blonde looking over a balcony.

“Clarke...”

“I get it, you’re not interested. Let’s just focus on the mission.” The blonde replied angrily, though it was clear in her voice that she was very close to crying and it made Lexa’s heart sink into her stomach.

“Clarke, I’m…”

“You know I should thank you, I was this close to making a giant mistake, and you saved me from that. So thank you. I can’t believe I thought you felt something for me! For a genius, I’m such a fucking moron!” Clarke’s eyes were watery, though she had kept the tears from spilling out and the brunette gave her a desperate look.

“I **do**!” 

“Don’t! I knew you were a narcissistic womanizer when we met and I was a fool to think I was any different from the others.” Clarke’s sadness was quickly shifting to anger and the signature blue glow of her biotics appeared around her.

“You **are** different…”

“Why? Because I’m a naïve virgin that doesn’t know any better? Just another bedroom conquest for the legendary Commander Shepard?” The blonde clenched her fists as tears streamed and Lexa reached out to calm her. An angry biotic was the last thing you wanted in a public place, especially one as powerful as Clarke, and it was Lexa’s fault she was so upset.

“No! That’s not what you are to me!” The brunette shook her head, internally wondering how to apologize for being an idiot with foot in mouth syndrome.

“Just take someone else on the mission, I need a fucking drink.” Clarke grumbled and turned to leave. Lexa knew by the look in the blonde’s eyes that if she didn’t tell her how she felt now, she’d likely never have another chance.

“Clarke, wait!” Lexa grabbed the blonde’s arm and immediately regretted it when all the surrounding objects lifted in the air.

“Get your hands off me!” A blue glow surrounded Clarke's and Lexa released her arm immediately, then dropped to her knees in desperation.

“I’m in love with you, Clarke!!” The brunette exclaimed, more loudly than she intended, but she really didn’t care who heard her at this point.

“Y-you… have a shitty way of showing it.” Her declaration stunned the blonde and Clarke scanned Lexa’s face for any sign that the brunette was lying.

“I know and I’m sorry. I’m just completely terrified I might lose you and it’s seriously fucked with my head. I was a mess when they kidnapped you and the moment I found you, I knew that I would do anything to protect you, no matter the cost. This mission will be dangerous, we’re walking right up to the people that have hurt you and would gladly do it again. What if they take you again or kill you? I can’t lose you, Clarke, and that’s why I snapped.” The brunette kept her green eyes locked with Clarke’s blue and the blonde looked beyond confused.

“So you’re saying that you were being a jerk because you love me and don’t want to lose me?” Clarke raised an eyebrow, and the brunette nodded her head.

“Yes.”

“That’s illogical, Lexa. Why push someone away, if you want to be with them? The most likely outcome is the exact opposite of what you want them to do.” The blonde shook her head and looked so serious that Lexa couldn’t help but laugh. Clarke would look at love and relationships clinically. It was all she had to go on.

“Well, we’ve already established that I’m an idiot and to be fair, I honestly do not know how to be in a relationship.”

“So, you’re not like this with every girl?” The blonde gave her a hesitant look and Lexa shook her head.

“No, just with you. Every other woman I’ve been with meant nothing to me, other than sex. It’s different with you… my universe turned upside down the moment we met.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re special, Clarke. You’re unbelievably smart, strong and beautiful. You’ve spent your entire life seeing the horrors mankind is capable of and you still want to help people. You make everything better, make **me** want to be better. If I lived a thousand lifetimes, I would never deserve someone as perfect and amazing as you.” Lexa answered and received a soft smile from the blonde as she lifted the brunette to her feet.

“How about you let me decide that, Lex?” 

“Deal.” 

“What do couples do after something like this? I mean when you’re mad at each other and do this…” Clarke asked, and the brunette gave her a hopeful smile, running through a list of ways to make it up to her.

“Well, since I was the offending asshole I’m supposed to make it up to you and I plan on doing just that.” 

“So... would you like to go to dinner with me, after we take out an army of Blue Sun’s mercs?” The blonde gave the Commander a questioning glance.

“Absolutely, but I’m buying.” Lexa’s face lit up as she envisioned wining and dining the blonde. Seeing Clarke’s beautiful smile was worth all the time and money in the galaxy.

“You can’t, the reservation is already in my name.” 

“You made reservations?”

“Raven says it is the first rule of dating. Whoever makes the first move has to make reservations and pay for everything, otherwise it isn’t a proper date.” Clarke replied with a serious tone and expression, causing the brunette to chuckle. 

“There are no actual rules for dating Clarke, so don’t let the people that are gambling on the outcome tell you what to do. I don’t have any expectations other than spending time with you and no matter what, I’m paying. I have to make up for being an asshole.” Lexa replied, smiling at the thoughtful expression on the blonde’s face.

“Deal. Now, let’s take care of Octavia so we can get to your penance.”

  
  
  


**Later**

  
  
  
  


“Damn, that’s a lot of mercs.”

“There are elevators on the Northside of the complex, or we can try the stairs. Though I should warn you, they’re on the thirtieth floor.”

“My vote is for elevators. Thirty flights of stairs will take forever.”

“Agreed. How are we going to get past them without alerting the entire building?”

“Anya, if I send them all into that fancy water fountain, can you overload their suits?”

“Electrocution, I like it.” Anya’s face lit up, and she prepared to hack into their armored suits. 

The blonde lifted the mercenaries in the air with her biotics and sent them all flying towards the pool of water. It was over in seconds and they had a straight shot to the elevator. The trio entered the elevator and Clarke hit the button for the thirtieth floor.

“We can assume Octavia has at least two dozen men in the corridor and about the same in the apartment.” Clarke informed them, and Anya scrunched her eyebrows together.

“Two dozen? How big is her apartment?”

“It’s the penthouse, so she has the entire floor.” The blonde shrugged.

“I’m in the wrong line of work. Lexa’s the only one that makes enough money for a fancy apartment. Though if the two of you finally get together, I’ll have enough money to buy one.” Anya smirked.

“You have an apartment? I thought you lived on the ship.” Clarke ignored the lieutenant’s comment, and Lexa nodded.

“It’s on the Citadel. I don’t stay there often, the Council keeps me too busy. Next time we have shore leave, I’ll invite you over.” The brunette smiled and imagined the two of them spending a week there without interruptions. Be patient, you’re not at that point yet. Maybe one day, assuming you avoid being a jerk.

“That sounds great, thank you.”

“Now that you’ve planned future sexcapades, can we kill the mercs?” Anya asked as the elevator door opened and Lexa cleared her throat.

“Right, focus.”

The trio exited the lift and spotted a group of mercenaries a few feet away. Lexa and Anya quietly made their way behind them, then snapped their necks. As soon as they fell, it was on to next group. The brunette was inches from her next target when a Merc entered the hallway.

“We're under attack!” The mercenary raised his rifle and opened fire.

“Dammit! Get to cover!” Lexa shouted, and the room erupted in gunfire.

The brunette rolled across the hallway and took cover behind a planter. Bullets whizzed past her and collided with the wall behind her. Lexa poked her head out and fired when she heard them reloading. She hit three mercs in the chest, then her eyes fell on the blonde biotic. A blue aura surrounded Clarke as she lifted her enemies in the air, leaving them open targets for Lexa and Anya.

“319, I guess I should thank you. No bounty has ever come to me willingly.” A dark-haired woman with a gruff voice smiled and opened fire with her pistol.

Octavia's use of Clarke's old moniker made Lexa grit her teeth angrily, and she stepped out of cover to attack. She shot in triple bursts, hitting one Merc and then moving to next as she made her way towards Octavia. The dark-haired woman was cackling as she shot at Clarke, and her eyes widened when she saw the brunette.

Lexa tossed a grenade towards the group surrounding Octavia and they scrambled to find safety. Anya rolled across the floor to cover the Commander, while Clarke created a biotic barrier to protect Lexa. The brunette hit five mercenaries, then hesitated when the dark-haired Merc smiled wickedly.

“Block this, Shepard!” Octavia tossed two grenades at the approaching Commander, and the brunette slid into cover to avoid the blast.

A group of enemies focused on pinning the brunette down with their fire, and there was nowhere for Lexa to go. Clarke used her biotics to open a singularity and five mercs spun through the air as the force pulled their bodies towards the black hole.

Anya stepped out of cover, firing at the mercs, each shot hitting its mark. The blonde sent another group flying out of the balcony window to their deaths. It was enough of a distraction to pull their attention away from Lexa, and the Commander hit the three remaining mercs with expert marksmanship.

“You won’t take me alive!” Octavia growled before the blonde's biotics lifted her in the air.

“Actually, we will.” Clarke smirked, and struck the woman hard across the face. The brunette took stock of casualties, only Octavia survived.

“Lieutenant Reyes, let the authorities know we’ve captured Octavia Blake. We have eliminated all other hostiles.” Lexa ordered on the radio and shot a proud smile at the blonde.

“Affirmative, Commander. Local law enforcement is inbound.” Raven replied.

“I’ll babysit the Merc, while you two change. Can't go on a date wearing tactical armor.” Anya smirked.

“Thanks, Anya.”

“You realize she probably placed a bet on the outcome, yes?” Lexa said as the elevator doors closed behind them.

“Who hasn't?” Clarke shrugged and smiled playfully.

“Excellent point.”

They spent the trip back to the Normandy alternating between shy smiles and long stares. Once at the ship, they parted ways to change into civilian clothes. Lexa went through her closet and grumbled that she only had one appropriate outfit. The Commander quickly showered and threw on her black dress, then headed to Clarke's quarters.

“Wow Lex, you look amazing! I thought you looked hot in armor, but Commander Shepard in a dress takes the cake.” The blonde grinned as she exited, wearing a perfectly tailored navy blue dress.

“Thank you, Clarke. You always look beautiful.” Lexa gave her a bashful smile, and the two stared at each other in silence for a moment.

“Aww, look at those two! They're so nervous and they haven't even left the ship.” Raven's voice caught their attention, and they found themselves surrounded by the crew.

“They grow up so fast! Reyes, get a picture so we can show the grandkids one day.” Nyko added.

“Don't you all have duties to perform?” Lexa grumbled and shook her head.

“But this is so much more interesting than flight checks.” Raven grinned. “There is a shuttle waiting to take you to the restaurant. It's booked for the night, so they will take you wherever you want to go.”

“Curfew is midnight and don’t forget that a brawl makes for great foreplay.” Gustus chuckled, causing Lexa and Clarke to blush.

“Everyone to your stations, now!” The Commander ordered, and the crew scattered. “Sorry about that, Clarke.”

“Don't be. Shall we?” Clarke smiled hopefully, and the brunette gestured for her to lead the way.

“After you, beautiful.” Lexa followed the blonde off the ship and gave the awaiting shuttle driver a nod as they took a seat.

It was strange how nervous she was, considering they just faced off against a few dozen mercenaries just an hour earlier. But this was different, this was Clarke. The blonde biotic that had given the brunette the chance to prove she was more than just a cocky war hero. Lexa was determined to make this date one they would both remember for years to come. Sitting comfortably with the beautiful blonde with no thought of war or plots to kidnap Clarke. Just two people in love. Don't get ahead of yourself, Lex. Get through the first date, then go from there.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and I will have the next chapter up on AU day on March 5th


End file.
